Okay, before I get started I should probably begin with stating that I am not stating that all men ARE wankers only that 99.9% of the ones that have dipped in and out of my life appear to be . So before you get in a huff and right a trollish comment, pull your big boy pants on and think about whether I’m actually talking about you… hmm?! Now, I am actually asking a genuine question… are all men wankers or are there any decent ones left? Are there any out there who care about the feelings of the person they’re talking with? Flirting with? Making feel special? Using? Stepping On? Forgetting? Sometimes, I do wonder…..
Now, since the last one I haven’t been back to online dating as I can’t quite face it at the moment but an old family friend popped up on the radar. We’d never been single at the same time and seemed to get on well so commence the flirty banter… He obviously gets on well with the family which is a bonus and there were no nerves because I already knew him so there was just the butterflies that come from excitement and the possibility of something new starting . We went out and we talked most nights , he had a birthday, I bought him a virtual cat for the game he plays, cue innuendo jokes about “pussy” cats blah di blah di blah… all going well. This weekend we were due to be going out again… alone this time but this is me isn’t it?! So what happened next….BOOM!
I logged onto Facebook to check my Mummy in a Tutu page and their plain as day was … “Ass – hole is in a relationship !” Are you actually kidding me??! We still had plans at that point for the weekend… he’d been flirting the night before….what the actual hell ?
So what was I ?? Basically from what I can see I was a stop gap… an amusement to be dropped as soon as someone dateable came along because apparently I wasn’t . Now, you might be thinking “well maybe you read too much into it” and I wondered that too so I showed someone the messages between us and they told me I hadn’t misunderstood at all and that they’d be pretty pissed . I could say something but what’s the point? It won’t change anything .
Do you know what’s even worse? Is that this isn’t the first. This has continually happened to me; the Soulmate came back and used me for his amusement and then told me I’d misunderstood, the ex-Dad appeared messed with my head taking something and then wanting nothing, the men from online dating who talk and then disappear when they find someone to actually date and now this guy – I mean you can tell me… do I have one of those Mind The Gap stickers on my forehead?
What makes men think they have the right to do this to someone? It takes a hell of a lot for me to put myself out there with the bad relationship history and the fact that it’s not just me anymore and each and every time some sodding man steps on me and pushes me down even further! Is it in the blokes handbook? Is that what my user guide states? There must be a reason surely… or is it merely that all men are wankers?! Whatever the reason it’s not fair… it’s just not.
I’m not looking to jump into a full on relationship and within a week be living happily ever after – but I do want to find someone. Someone for me and someone to be me with instead of just mum… is that too much to ask? I’m a hopeless romantic at heart and maybe that’s the problem… maybe I’m still living in Once Upon a Time land and it’s time to get my head out of the clouds. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life but if too many more step on my head and push me down there will soon come a time when I cannot get out of the gap. So, if you’re a wanker that has me in your sights… bog off! If you think you’re a decent guy and haven’t been scared off… why not check out my Personal Ad: Blogger Seeks Husband!
38 Comments
Awww mate. What an idiot, that wasn’t fair leading you on. All I can say is no, not all men are walkers. There are some good ones out there, I promise. Someone once told me the best things come along when you stop looking for them. Maybe take some time out for you and give the dating scene a rest for a while? Much love XX
Obvs meant wankers! Hahha x
Obvs meant wankers! Hahha x
Yes they are. Well, actually no, there are some that are OK. I have an equally bad track record with men though. I think I’ve just been unlucky. I’m lucky in so many other areas of my life though, so I try to focus on the good things. I might never meet my soul mate, but I’m happy and healthy, I have a career and a lovely family, and I bet half those smug marrieds are miserable anyway!
I think it’s fair to say that 99.9% of the ones on internet dating are but there are still some good ones out there… somewhere… maybe hiding under a bush.
Not all of them (or i wouldn’t have married one!) but you sure have met a few! Sorry to hear about this lovely, he was obviously just out for what he could get. So mean. I’ll break his face for you if you like x
There are still good men out there! That being said, my single friends have some horror stories about modern dating, especially online – I get the impression that some men don’t have a clue about how to treat women. I’m sorry you’ve had such bad experiences lately, but don’t give up – you may meet Mr Right when you least expect it. #ablogginggoodtime
This isn’t right at all! My single friends seem to be experiencing the same. Maybe there is just a shortage of real men at the moment. I just think everything happens for a reason. He wasn’t the one. Hope you’re OK, don’t lose hope. x #ablogginggoodtime
I just wondered if you found your Prince Charming. I am most definitely not lucky in love. I see people in loving relationships and it is wonderful. I think I am just one of those women that attract the men who will only use them for their own agenda and then drop as soon as they found what they actually want. You may think I must be high maintenance, but the only thing I ask for is for someone to show they care, that I matter. Not a lot to ask I think. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will forever be alone. Some days it hurts, but better be alone than lonely. I hope you have found someone, And if not, that you are happily alone and not unhappily lonely.
I am very lucky that I did find someone. I took a few years out and didn’t look. Then went on the standard dating sites and just didn’t like what I found. When I was about to give up, I decided to take one more punt on an app called Bumble. The first person I met is now my partner. We have been together more than 2 years, live together and are thinking about the future together. Don’t give up but please do try and make sure you’re happy with yourself. Also try and look for someone you might not normally go for, you never know you could grow to love them. I understand the despair. I am always here to talk if you need an ear xx
You’ve probably heard this a thousand times over but try not to let it get you down!
It’s a mans prerogative to be a wanker. Mine is one of the good guys but even he can be a wanker at times!
Just keep hunting, he’s out there somewhere you’ve just got to get past all the crap first!
#ablogginggoodtime
What an arsehole. I don’t want to hit you with a cliché but there will be someone out there for you who won’t be a wanker. Promise. #ablogginggoodtime
What an utter shitbag. Look at it this way, the poor girl he’s now in a relationship probably has no idea he’d been messaging you the whole time they’d probably been initiating their relationship. You dodged a bullet love! Men are wankers, you just have to find one that’s less wanker-y than the others. #ablogginggoodtime
Ah hang in there! Finding Love is a ridiculous thing, if seems to happen just when you turn you back on it. So at the risk of sounding harsh I think you should ease off a little, love yourself more… do what you enjoy, don’t rush, hard as that may be….You’ll end up finding the wrong guy because it is only when we’re completely ourselves, spending time on what we love, only then do we attract the right partner. #abloggingoodtime
… some of us are nice. Although we tend to be taken #ablogginggoodtime
Aaaw I’m so sorry! This sounds awful. It must be so hard to keep picking yourself up and carrying on.
I know it’s easy to say, but maybe try not looking? Do stuff you enjoy, for you. Create a life and routine that YOU love and that you can enjoy right now. Then the guys you meet at those places will already like the same stuff as you, and will know the real you straight away.
But it’s so hard. I’m a hopeless romantic too (probably due to my mega Disney diet!) #ABloggingGoodTime
You’ve been totally shat on, too many times it seems. Don’t make this lower your expectations of what you are willing to settle with. Keep your standards high. Keep looking for the values you hold in high regard and let go anyone who doesn’t meet them, or at the very least is trying to meet them. Walk away in the knowledge it’s them not you. The right person will come along and if it takes time, it will be worth the wait. Alison x #ablogginggoodtime
What an actual pleb end.
#ablogginggoodtime
I think a lot of the guys that go on these dating websites are and it’s so hard to judge who you can trust but I have hope for you hun. You will find the loving, caring, assertive guy your after. He’s out there I promise. And not all guys are wankers. I’d say it’s more 70% lol! But maybe 99.9% of ones on dating websites are? Any way good luck in your search for your perfect man xx
Amina xx « http://www.aliandher.com #ablogginggoodtime
Urgh, I don’t envy you back in the dating game. It was shit when I was in my 2os, so in mid-30s it would be totally crap. I can offer you this hope though – I found a good one and he’s a real keeper. Good luck finding yours #ablogginggoodtime
I kind of think all men are wankers until they find the right woman to “un-wank” them….and then they are still diots we just have permission to wack them into submission 😉 You will find Mr. Right, as soon as you stop looking, in my experience! #ablogginggoodtime
I hope you get to meet the person you are looking for soon. x #ablogginggoodtime
That’s really off-sides, you’re entitled to think that considering you’re experiences.
Chin Up.
#ablogginggoodtime
I’m so sorry, what a rubbish way to get treated. There are some good ones out there, I hope you meet your Mr Right soon. Xx #ablogginggoodtime
Ahh what an idiot, I can’t actually believe he was flirting with you and making plans when he was seeing someone else, I feel sorry for his girlfriend. You will find someone, they aren’t all wankers..just most of them xx #ablogginggoodtime
Sounds like you are having a run of particularly bad luck. There are some good ones out there and more often than not they appear when you are least expecting it. Keep positive he will turn up soon. #ablogginggoodtime
Wow, what a shitter. The family friend was bang out of order to flirt right up to the point of being in a relationship; just think how it will end and at least you got out before getting too deep! #ablogginggoodtime
Sorry that you’re having a shitty time with men. I kissed a few frogs and toads for that matter. Try not to be disheartened. I’m sure Mr Right’s out there somewhere. #ablogginggoodtime
Not all men are but to be fair if I was in your situation I would be thinking exactly the same. I honestly think you just haven’t found the right guy. Saying that you have also had quite bad luck recently and encountered some W*** Chin up beautiful. Your happy ever after is only around the corner x #ablogginggoodtime
Awwww not all men are like this I can guarantee. I discovered my hubby online and our relationship blossomed to a marriage and two kids. #ablogginggoodtime
Awww this sucks!! We’ve all been there… wondering wether the entire male gender is made up of complete and utter arseholes. However I can assure you that it is not. I had also been dragged down by people trying to tell me that my ‘head is too far in the clouds’ and ‘life isn’t a Disney movie’ but Im getting married next year and couldn’t be happier. I mean don’t get me wrong men have their flaws, but your happily ever after is totally reachable! <3 #ablogginggoodtime
Your true person will appear, when you leats expect it…serendipitously! #blogginggoodtime xoxo
ugh that sucks. imagine being his partner – poor woman. youll get there – better to take your time finding the right one than to settle, right? #ablogginggoodtime
Oh lovey I do believe there are some shits out there but I also believe there are some good eggs to, Sadly I think we often just have to wade through the crap before the good shines through. That doesn’t make it ok or fair though, as you said, it just isn’t. Hope you’re ok. Lots of love xx ablogginggoodtime
Oh I am so sorry you’ve had such bad experiences with me. I hope your next time around works out for you. As having eventually met my husband through an online dating website, I’ve had my share of crazy experiences so I can understand on some level. Hugs to you hon. #ablogginggoodtime
Oops..can’t edit. Meant…bad experiences with men. Obviously, not me 🙂
Oh I hear you sister.
I totally agree with you, I have had countless douche bags from online dating.
Your last conquest was awful, but the person he is in “a relationship ” with has no prize, after all he was flirting with you at the time, wonder if she has aware of that.
I have lost count of the guys who have messaged me, exchanged detailed information about their lives, sent photos and spoke on the phone for ages, but when it comes to actually meeting they bail out.
The ones I have managed to meet up with, have so much emotional baggage, the ex rears their head and off they trot.
Not to mention the ones that are married!
Or and the ones that swear blind they want a relationship but only want sex.
But you keep kidding yourself the next one will be different…but they never are.
So yes I am totally disillusioned with the male species and will be coming off the online dating scene…if only to restore my sanity
This is all a total minefield – I wouldn’t know where to start! #ablogginggoodtime