A few weeks ago I published my recent experience with online dating in “Do You Want A C*ck Shot Babe?!” and needless to say my experience hadn’t been overly positive had it? In fact I ended up needing a bloody disclaimer before talking to anymore, but if you remember, right at the end I mentioned I did in fact have a date and so many of you expressed an interest in what happened that we find ourselves here – my follow up post….
I swear, you could not have created a more “perfect” guy for me… it was literally like he had been popped out of a “made for Katie” mould and had all the qualities I was looking for. We had been chatting 24/7 for five days prior to the date and had gotten to know an awful lot about each other. We had decided because of both his work and my babysitting needs that we would meet for a coffee and a walk, so I got up before Alyssa and put make-up on in what felt like the first time in forever, did my hair and decided to wear it down (another first in a long time which all mummies with long hair will understand). Strategically dressed, gave Alyssa a kiss and headed out the door.
I felt sicker and sicker and did arrive early so went and sat at a table that allowed me to see the door and sat sipping my coffee whilst frantically messaging friends telling them how sick with nerves I was… bare in mind it has been over 2 years since I have even been on a date let alone a “Blind Date!” My eyes flicked up when I noticed the door open and I saw him and quickly averted my eyes so that he wouldn’t see that I had seen him, rapidly texted my friends and had just finished when this figure holding a tray with a cup of tea on appeared in front of me!
To be honest, within minutes I had completely forgotten my nerves and we talked like we had in messages getting more in depth information from each other than we previously had, laughing and joking and it was nice and easy with no awkward silences at all. One we had finished our drinks we decided to go for a walk around the town as it had been a while since either of us had lived in or near this town and a lot had changed. We did a few circuits, talking continuously and still laughing until before we knew it a few hours had passed and he needed to start work and I needed to get back for Alyssa. He gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye and we both parted smiling.
I messaged him once I had gotten back to the car thanking him for a lovely time and asking him if he would like to go out again sometime. I knew that I would, although it wasn’t an over whelming physical attraction when I had seen him, I liked the way he looked and more importantly I loved his personality and we really seemed to click. I popped my phone away and drove home and funnily enough once I was there Alyssa gave me a cuddle, said “Bott Bott” which is her word for bottle and a nap and we had a cuddle and I put her down and obviously hadn’t had a chance to look at my phone.
Once she was down, I grabbed my phone out of my bag saw the tell tale flashing light and opened my messages excitedly, eager to plan another date… then BOOM! “I had a great time but didn’t feel a spark so no thanks but nice to meet you.” Oh, right okay…. How had I misjudge that so badly then? Had I been the only one on the date?! Don’t get me wrong he was perfectly pleasant about it but honestly I was completely shocked.
My mind of course then went into over drive, trying to think of a reason he may not have wanted a date; you’re too fat, not pretty enough, you have a child, you’re not 18, you’re not clever enough, he may not consider blogging a real job’ you live at home… completely ripping myself to shreds which he himself hadn’t done. It could of course have just been what he had said and he didn’t feel a “spark,” but let me ask you something, can you really feel a true spark from just having coffee with someone?!
In this MTV world we live in it seems that people want fireworks; BOOM, WHIZZ, CRASH, BANG straight away and if it doesn’t happen within the first 5 seconds then they write that person off as a no go and move on. My ex is a prime example of this… where I have had 1 date recently, he has had something close to 50 apparently!! What is wrong with taking the time to get to know someone and seeing if something develops?! I used to be one of those girls who was looking for fireworks and fairytales, but actually what I want is something real and that “realness” takes time. I have to say, I am not sure anyone feels flirty over coffee in their converse and an oversized woollen cardi… maybe that was the mistake, maybe we should have gone for a drink or dinner in the evening when all the dating hormones and “skills” kick in?!
I think it is rather sad that someone judge my eligibility for a relationship on one cup of coffee and a walk around the town… surely I deserved more than that didn’t I? I was told that is the nature of dating nowadays and people are too impatient and they want a “smash” relationship; open the packet, pour on the hot water and boom you got yourself a 2.4 family. So for now, I’ll be ordering myself an electric blanket to keep me warm at night until someone decides that I warrant more than a latte. What do you think? Tell me there’s hope for me yet?!