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Highlights of the Week: #25
1st October 2016
Ginger Biscuits: My Autumn Faves!
3rd October 2016

Newborns: The Harsh Realities!

big hand holding a baby hand
I can honestly say that I had dreamt about having my own children from the age of 14. As I got older, it got harder and harder and more heartbreaking to watch friends get engaged or married or have a baby and I was still pootling along, having great experiences, but in my opinion just treading water. Despite the surprise of the news, I was completely over the moon when I found out that I was expecting by now entering toddlerdom little girl. Apart from the first few weeks of pregnancy and the horrendous morning sickness, I thoroughly enjoyed pregnancy and felt very content knowing that I was about to take on the title of “Mummy!” After our brief stay in SCBU when my little bundle arrived early, I was eager to take her home and begin life with my newborn. However, I was in for a lesson in the reality of a newborn…

Me holding a new born alyssa

I had had experience of babies and felt very comfortable with them but obviously it is never the same as having your own – there is no giving them back, not that I’d want to obviously!! I think with social media pressures, mum’s for the most part want to paint a rosy picture of what having a new baby is like. The overwhelming rush of love is true, it is amazing how instantaneoMummy lying with baby stroking her faceusly you can fall in love with your baby and the mama lioness instincts kick right in too! The snuggles as they fall asleep on your chest, the moment that they first grip your finger, the gurgles, the feeling when they first latch on (to boob or bottle) and that first special photograph are all amazing. However, as much as I am totally in love with my daughter she was by no means an “easy” baby if there is such a thing! Allow me to enlighten you…

Sleeping – Even now at 14 months old she doesn’t sleep through the night. She has probably slept through the night about 10 times in her entire life. I have no idea why and I have tried different things but I just have to accept the fact that for now my daughter gets me up in the night and my body has adjusted accordingly to the sleep pattern. To bYoung alyssa sleeping on mummys cheste honest I am actually grateful that she goes down at all because for the first 6-7 months she would only sleep on me or only go to sleep in her cocoon mattress if I went to bed with her. I’m not going to lie – it was hard!! The first six weeks, she got a virus and then had her jabs and just wanted to be ON me so I slept sitting up for the first 6 weeks with her on my chest and me just dozing on and off but jumping awake at the slightest twitch! It was the  cocoon mattress that saved me in this case, otherwise we might still be sleeping the same way!

Colic – This was truly horrendous for my little bubba. She suffered terribly with colic from a very young age and it was horrible to have to witness. I tried tummy massage that was suggested to me but this didn’t help very much. I was fortunate to have a very good health visitor who I felt I was able to call on at any time and she suggested that for Colic in Babies I try using Infacol which I did and that greatly helped to relieve some of her discomfort and I found it work best after a few doses and had built up the level of it in her system. I was really pleased that there was something available that I could give her so young as it’s very different to give anything other than milk to such young babies.a 1 month old alyssa lying down smiling with a little sick on her chin

Reflux – I think this has to be the scariest of all the newborn realities. Don’t get me wrong, Alyssa didn’t suffer with it nearly as badly as some babies I know but it was bad enough for it to cause us some big problems. After feeding, obviously I’d burp her and keep her upright for at least 20 minutes post  feed before putting her down to sleep. However, she would still suffer with reflux and I would need to keep a close eye on her. It all came to a head when she was about 4 months old and she nearly died because of the reflux – you can read about that experience in “The Day She Almost Died!” Luckily, my little  girl was okay and by 8 months the reflux had calmed down without any medical help, but I know some children still suffering now at age 2! Despite the fact she still gets the hiccups and can get sick very easily if she coughs or cries too much we’re okay, but this was definitely not something I’d like to have to repeat if I’m lucky enough to have any more children!
alyssa and me looking at the camera on black background

There you have it…. my realities of a newborn. It was so hard – sooooo much harder than I thought it would be. I never imagined I’d have one of those babies that didn’t sleep, but then in my wildest dreams I never imagined I’d be doing it alone either. However, we have gotten through it, with the help of some amazing family and friends and we are now entering the world of toddlerdom. Wish me luck as this past week the most popular phrase I have heard from my one year old going on 15 year old is… “Mummy, No!”
What were your harsh realities of having a newborn?

 

This was a collaborative post – all thoughts and opinions are my own
My Petit Canard
The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback
3 Little Buttons

44 Comments

  1. I sympathise as I’ve had two newborns with colic and reflux. Infacol did jack shit, I’m not sure it’s even proven to work, my my daughter liked using them empty bottles to feed her baby…

  2. Nothing ever prepares you for your first child. After a lengthy gap I felt ready to have another child and number 2 was born after 7 years but everything was different 2nd time round. Still unprepared! #bigpinklink

  3. I was fortunate enough not to have to deal with reflux (which it sounds like you had a scary time with!). But the sleep thing was hard. Like yours, my daughter stills continues to wake, albeit not every night, at 19 months. It’s not for long but it’s still a disruption for me. Ironically I usually feel better in the morning when I’ve had to go in to her briefly*. What’s that about?!

    Good luck if you ever have a second. Hope you avoid the reflux and colic!

    #MarvMondays

    *I mean once for 5 mins. The nights where she’s awake every 2 hours and I’m in there for ages see me a broken mess in the morning…

  4. Oh yes, reflux. That was horrible. My oldest had to have an endoscopy because his was so bad. Turns out he is lactose intolerant and I was nursing so I had to cut out all dairy for a year. Boy did I miss ice cream!

  5. My first had colic and reflux, it’s a complete nightmare. Beautiful photos!

    #DreamTeam

  6. What gorgeous photos of the 2 of you. For me I think the harsh reality of no sleep was a real eye opener. At just turned 4 years old, we still have nights where sleep doesn’t come easily, and if she sleeps on time, she may wake in the middle of the night still anyway. I always have a laugh when people (with no children) complain about being tired, or getting to bed late and being shattered. Yup… I sympathise… said no parent ever. Thank you for linking up to the #DreamTeam xx

  7. Kaye says:

    I don’t think anyone can really prepare you for the harsh reality of having a newborn. It’s such a huge mixture of good and bad emotions, but all worth it in the end. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

  8. Sleep, well a lack of it. colic, reflux, illness all make the time much harder. We really can’t know what it will be like and we can’t compare one baby from the next. My two sons were very different from each other and therefore so was the experience. It is not easy but we do get through. Lovely post. #ablogginggoodtime

  9. I never expected that I’d have one of those babies who didn’t sleep either! It makes dealing with a newborn SOOOO much harder – the Popple was really colicky too, which didn’t help. Sometimes I’m amazed that I made it through those first few months! #ablogginggoodtime

  10. No amount of books and advice really prepared me for what I was to experience having my first child. A suffered terribly from reflux and still has spit ups at 6 months old. #ablogginggoodtime

  11. Baby Anon says:

    This is so real. I thought giving birth was the hard bit – how wrong was I!!! I didn’t anticipate the terrible eczema she suffered from which is only now abating. I also didn’t anticipate the sense of being overwhelmed. But she’s worth it all #ablogginggoodtime

  12. I remember lying awake a night after a nightfeed listening just in case she was sick as the rflux was awful. I had horrendous anxiety that she would choke on her sick and I would find her in the morning. Safe to say I din’t get much sleep!Hope your little one sleeps through for you soon! #ablogginggoodtime

  13. Emma says:

    My first had colic and it was a nightmare as I kept being told that she can’t have as you are breastfeeding her! Erm she has colic! It turns out she was lactose intolerant and I had to give up dairy and eventually breast feeding as it wasn’t working. Infacol and Colief became my best friend! #Ablogginggoodtime

  14. Babies are so much more hard work than I was expecting. I was 24 when I was pregnant with my first (I’d never even changed a nappy!) and I used to tip-toe around indoors as I was scared to wake her. She was a little colicy but luckily nothing too bad. I LOVE babies but at 35 and after 3 children (all now at school) I don;t think I could do it all again. Sarah #Ablogginggoodtime

  15. Oh the things you don’t know, until you are forced to become an expert. Our littles were not sleepers (and we still struggle (see sleep in 4 hours or less). Reflux, we had vomit hurled across the house. It was everywhere. They don’t tell us everything, therefore we blog! Enjoy that precious one! M;wah! #ablogginggoodtime

  16. I don’t think any of us can ever be fully prepared for a newborn can we? It’s such a magical time but the foggy haze of sleepless nights and constant worry can be so overwhelming. Infacol was a lifesaver for me with both of mine. Fabulous stuff! #Ablogginggoodtime x

  17. Harriet says:

    It seems odd that so many babies suffer from these horrid conditions. Why isn’t there a proven cure yet? I can’t imagine what it must have been like to almost lose your little girl. Terrifying. As if newborns aren’t hard enough as it is! #ablogginggoodtime

  18. Meg says:

    Oh man … I’m due in December with baby number two and I’ve got all this to come again! Our daughter suffered with colic – she used to scream every evening for hours. It lasted about three weeks but those three weeks were LONG. We switched from Cow and Gate to Aptamil which helped a little bit, but my gosh, we were tearing our hair out towards the end.

    Still, they’re so worth it 🙂 #ablogginggoodtime

  19. Tammymum says:

    Oh having a newborn is such a shocker isn’t it. I was not prepared, I don’t think you can be. The lack of sleep is definetly the hardest and god what a trauma it is between the no sleep the trying to feed the comic reflux the not knowing what is wrong with them – so hard. Hardest job there is I believe. Thanks for sharing this at #familyfun xx

  20. It’s a massive reality check, isn’t it?! Like you, I had always been around children, I have a large family, and I’d even worked in a baby unit in a nursery before I went to university-I thought I’d know it all! My eldest would only sleep on my chest too, for the first few months, although he eventually settled into a Moses basket if tightly swaddled. I was also knocked for six by the fact that I didn’t bond with him for ages. It took weeks for me to feel anything, and in that time I agonised that I was some kind of monster, and there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t aware that it isn’t always instant, and can take weeks to build a bond. Unlike you, we thankfully didn’t get off to the rocky medical start that you did. Both boys were overdue, and neither had colic or reflux. It sounds like you had a real struggle on there, and I also take my hat off to you for doing it alone!
    #bigpinklink

  21. My first suffered with colic and neither of mine are good sleepers. The 4yo is getting there but the 1yo has a long way to go! I agree that newborns are difficult and often in completely different ways to what you expect. #ablogginggoodtime

  22. I remember the challenges with my first born like it was yesterday. It really was the steepest learning curve- even after baby two and then TWINS- baby one was the one that rocked my world!

    #ablogginggoodtime

  23. The spit up. I had no idea how much that was going to happen! #blogginggoodtime

  24. Topfivemum says:

    wow you’ve had a tough start, with colic AND reflux, not to mention sleepless nights and doing it on your own! I wanted to be a mum for years and was quite miserable when it wasn’t happening. 5 years later, my daughter finally made it into the world (about to turn 2) and I now also have a son. Some days are hard and then I feel guilty for thinking that, because I wanted them both so desperately for so long. Just remember it’s ok to feel like it’s too much some days. You’re not superwoman. For me the hardest part about having my second newborn was juggling it with an 18 month old toddler. She was still pretty much a baby herself and still needed my help to eat, climb up slides in the park etc. Now they’re both approaching 2 and 6 months respectively, I feel like I’m finally getting into a routine and the fact my toddler is a bit more self sufficient is really making life easier. I now just need to stop them BOTH waking up in the night. #ablogginggoodtime

  25. Holly says:

    Your photos are gorgeous! I’ve had three babies and definitely the hardest part in dealing with a newborn is the lack of sleep. Although now that I have a 12-year-old who already acts like a teenager, I’m thinking the interrupted sleep was a cakewalk compared to this! : )
    #ablogginggoodtime

  26. themotherhub says:

    for me my surprise came the second time around – my first born was a relatively easy baby, and so when my second came along and cried for no reason all the time. I didnt know what to do! and the sleep. i havent slept properly for six years – sorry to tell you! #ablogginggoodtime

  27. Fab post! I think that it doesn’t matter if it’s your first or fifth, that newborn stage is always a shock!

  28. wow, i’ve totally forgotten about all those newborn situations…the sleep was one that also really got to me and still does 2 and half years on! luckily my lg never got colic but i can feel ya pain as lots of my mates babies did…ekkk. thanks for sharing and hope its all got better nowadays #ablogginggoodtime

  29. It really is so hard! My little girl had terrible colic and reflux too, now at 6 months it’s starting to feel like a distant memor but in the moment its so so tough. Although we’re no closer to a full nights sleep! #ablogginggoodtime

  30. I don’t think anything can really prepare you for a newborn. Definitely the tiredness, and early stages of feeding are so difficult. When you look back though it’s amazing how quickly it flies by. Enjoy the Toddledom xx #ablogginggoodtime

  31. I hear you on the lack of sleep and how you just adjust. I can’t remember much about the newborn faze now and I know that robert didn’t have colic but we did use infacol for a while and I have no idea if it worked or not. I think it helped my mind more than anything! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun.

  32. It really is so hard with a newborn. The sleep deprivation was hardest here and we still have it at 7 months. We also had colic and used infacol. Thankfully no reflux. Your little girl is beautiful and looks like she is thriving. #ablogginggoodtime

  33. It’s true – new born babies are gorgeous but incredibly hard work. I think I have never been as tired as I was the year after my twins were born, and our eldest two were both still only 3 and 5 years old. A close friend of mine fosters new born babies – I remain in awe! #ablogginggoodtime

  34. wendy says:

    Having a new born is so hard! My boy didn’t have colic or reflux but I still really struggled in those early days. How scary Alyssa almost died, I’m so glad she was ok. I have a friend who had a baby with reflux and she was always so worried abd stressed because of it. I will keep infacol in mind if my next baby gets colic xx #ablogginggoodtime

  35. When I gave birth I thought that its going to be a walk in the park as thats how I saw my cousins mother their children. It is for me at first being born to a big family has its perks especially if you just gave birth. I dont need to lift a finger. Everyone is so into my baby and wont stop helping me. Then we need to go here in the UK and its suddenly just me and my son and his Dad. Its so hard. I thought I will never get out alive but I am still surviving so I guess I am doing okay. But it is indeed hard! #ablogginggoodtime

  36. My two year old and four year old STILL do not sleep through night. I have tried it all as well. Sometimes, some kids just don’t sleep as well as others and it is certainly hard! Frightening times you sure have had! Pleased all is well now! #ablogginggoodtime xxxx

  37. Left Back says:

    The lack of sleep is so hard we’ve just had our second she is a much easier baby I cannot believe how hard it is first time around.

  38. Nothing can prepare you for the reality of a newborn baby, I found the first 6 months incredibly hard. I have always wanted children and was told countless times how amazing it is, but few people share / remember the reality of endless sleepless nights, being covered in bodily fluids and just not recognising yourself in the mirror. Colic and reflux can be horrendous but after all that, it is so totally and utterly worth it. A sick trick of Mother Nature! #ablogginggoodtime

  39. Helena says:

    I was lucky with the first. Then along came our surprise who has colic! #ablogginggoodtime

  40. Eliana says:

    Aw..I have a 5 year old and an 8 months old, time flies by sooo fast that in the blink of an eye you will writing about going into teenage years! 🙂 it’s good our blogs are like a diary in a way! beautiful cute pics by the way. xx #ablogginggoddtime

  41. helen gandy says:

    Oh my goodness isn’t it tough!!! My 2nd was very different to the 1st though that is for sure! Thanks for linking up #bestandworst

  42. This brings back memories! Yes to all of the above. No matter how you prepare it is so much of a shock. I had no idea about colic and reflux, but it really impacted our first few months. On wards and upwards though! x #ablogginggoodtime

  43. Mrs Lighty says:

    Baby Lighty is also a reflux baby, it’s awful isn’t it?? At 16 months he is the same as your little girl, is sick easily if he coughs too much, had hiccups or – newly – when travelling for a long time. But I’m glad both of our little ones seem to be over the worst. I’m so sorry, but I’m actually coming to you from last week’s #DreamTeam as I totally forgot to do my reading! Glad I came back though to read this! xxx

  44. Silly Mummy says:

    It is an adjustment! Funnily enough, from what I have seen, it seems to – somewhat counter-intuitively – sometimes hit people like me who had no real experience of or interest in babies a little bit less hard, I think. I think it’s to do with the expectations. I have always loved and had lots of experience with children, but never babies. I’m from a small family and was never around babies. I was never interested in babies either, they bored me. Obviously, it was a massive adjustment, as it is for everyone, but I actually think that it helped in a way that I had no expectations that I knew what I was doing, what to expect, or was ready for it. Because I don’t think anyone ever completely is until it happens, and I think sometimes people who thought they were completely prepared and had lots of experience put that extra layer of pressure on themselves because they have expectations of how they thought it would be and how they thought they should be that they try to live up to. I’m rambling, but I know what I mean! #ablogginggoodtime

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