I suddenly realised a few weeks ago that in a matter of weeks it was going to be two years that I had been single and over two years since I had had a date. Don’t get me wrong I think the my time has been well spent focusing on myself and my daughter but it kind of just hit me like WOW! I think I was also healing and not really ready to get back out there either… plu
s the old ugly face of mum guilt kept rearing it’s ugly head “If you go on a date that is time that your daughter is losing out on!” I would think stupidly because obviously I could go on a date when she was asleep but then it’s “But what if she needs you and you aren’t there because you are out on a date with someone who doesn’t even matter?!” So to be honest apart from the odd moment of “Oh woe is me, I shall be alone forever!” that my absolute darling friends talked me through (as well as lovely hugs from my mum) I have actually be fine being single (except of course the brief moment when I had my heart played with “We Can’t Go Back But I’ll 
Go On!”)
However, I don’t know what happened but suddenly something clicked and I thought, you know what? It is not selfish to want to go out and maybe try and date again. It was like a light switch going on and suddenly I was ready. I have to say I do miss the good old days when you could go to a bar or a pub with a friend and if a guy liked you he came over to say hi and offered to buy you a drink. I have no desire to go clubbing again but a look across a crowded room would be quite nice. However, being realistic, I knew that I would have to turn to the internet in order to have any hope in finding a date.
I had met Alyssa’s dad on Plenty of Fish but knew I didn’t want to go back on there because despite it being free, from what I could remember it was a bit like a meat market. My mum pointed out to me that I should go on a paid for site because people might be a bit more serious there because they have had to pay for the pleasure of being there so decided on Match.com. Now, let me start by saying that I was not going into this with my eyes closed… I was not expecting to log on, find my Prince Charming and within a week ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. I began internet dating because I wanted to meet someone… I wanted to meet a guy who was nice, kind, makes me laugh, wants the same things as me and maybe someone who I could make a future with where we can create our own version of happily ever after. Oh how bloody naive was I??! I seriously thought that I would go on, chat to a few people, go on a couple of dates, maybe a few more and meet someone I clicked with…. oh no! 
First of all, I began talking to about 6 people the first day which quickly went down to one person and after two days we swapped numbers to text… within 12 hours came this message “So… I’m alone, you’re alone… go any pics to show me babe?!” Yeah, he was after naked pics of me… this resulted in a swift bye bye and a blocking of the number. A week later I returned to Match and began talking to another 3 people… 2 of these quickly disappeared when in their opening messages they told me that they were lonely and looking for fun – “Sorry, you’ll have to stay lonely!” The third one I actually really liked and we bega
n to text each other and arranged to meet then suddenly after a week… he disappeared! I have no idea what happened, he just stopped responding!!
I took a break at this point because work got busy and to be honest I didn’t really understand and was a bit annoyed. However, I went back on two weeks ago and OH MY GOD!! It has been one sexual deviant after another after another. One took to sending me streams and streams of an erotic novel which I couldn’t take seriously because there were too many spelling mistakes and then asked me for a tit shot. I responded that he was the same as every other guy out there and I was blocking him. Before I had managed to block him he got one final message through telling me “You frigid bitch!” This was followed after by another guy telling me he had just gotten out of the shower, was naked and would I like a c*ck shot?! No, I bloody well don’t… this was the 10th that had been offered to me in two weeks… I should have started trying to sell the images or something!! I blocked them on Match and because I was annoyed reported them, but because this had taken place off the site there was nothing they could do and I was advised to go to the police if it was serious which is fair enough.
Can someone please tell me what the hell happened to romance? Am I the only one out there who still just wants to meet someone, date them, fall in love, get married and have some form of a happy ending??! At times I think I must be… I mean, no offence guys, you may be pretty dang proud of your ding-a-ling but a bit like our hoo-haas they are not pretty, they are not something we like to sit staring at in our free time and honestly the only people with penis envy are your
selves. I know some women out there are just as bad (swapped dating stories with my ex but that’s a post for another time!!!) but seriously people… is romance actually dead?!? At this rate, I won’t be dating for a few decades and will find myself in the Mature Dating market!
For some reason, that night with the double whammy and being called a “frigid bitch” I was still on match just mindlessly scrolling through and 2 unsuspecting victims messaged me both with a similar message of “Hi, How are you? You’re profile is really nice and wondered if you would like to chat?!” Well, I know they personally had done nothing wrong but by this point I had honestly had enough so I decided to send them both a disclaimer that went as follows…
“Hello and thanks for messaging me and looking at my profile. Apologies for being direct and blunt, but if you are looking for a girl to sext with or to send you naked pictures or to send pictures of your genitalia too then I am not your girl so feel free not to message me back and just keep moving. If this is not your plan and you are in fact looking for something other than this and have not been frightened off by my directness then please do message me back…”
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48 Comments
Hahaha I unfortunately remember having the same problems before I got with the Mr. It does seem romance is mostly dead these days which is such a shame but fingers crossed for you your date goes well and you’ve found a romantic one 😉 x
I’m wishing you all the luck on your date. There are hundreds of rotters out there but I’m sure there are also gems to be found. I found one of those gems on match. We went on our first date 8 years ago this month. I will never forget that cold frosty October day. It was the start of our wonderful life. So for me I did meet my Prince Charming. It is possible ❤️
My friend has had the same thing with match and POF. What happened to all the gentlemen?
Hope your date goes well
Haha, good luck! Apparently e-harmony isn’t too bad for the c0ckshotters!! Xx
Seriously? Does this ever work for any guy? No girl wants to see that, especially from some guy who she hasn’t even met yet. You wouldn’t just whip it out immediately in real life, so why would you think you could do it via text? #ablogginggoodtime
I think you were right to go for the direct approach – stops you from wasting your time with guys who are after something which is not on offer! best wishes to you. #ablogginggoodtime
blimey that sounds hardcore. I think you are awesome for writing that message though and I hope the date went well. well done #ablogginggoodtime
I think it takes alot of courage to go on a dating site! I couldn’t do it myself. Good luck on your date! It seems the norm to send naked photos of yourself, I’m not prude but who the fuck would be “wooed” by a dick pic?!! #ablogginggoodtime
Oh gosh, good luck. I tried it, years ago. Kind of before it was really acceptable, and I encountered a right bunch of nuggets! Hopefully now that it’s more the done thing, you’ll have more luck. A lot of my friends have met their forever peeps there! #ablogginggoodtime
This is bloody hilarious! I keep promising to write about my dating disasters but I havnt got to that yet! I’v been on hundreds of Internet dates, years ago it was fab and I met loads of nice guys, in a fraud it does seem to be full of loonies these days, I’v been single for 4 years nearly now & to be honest happy that way! I couldn’t ever go back on the internet now as its just a head fu** dealing with all of the idiots! Good luck to you though when it works it works well xx
Shh god, some men hey? Why would anyone want to look at a picture of a strangers penis is beyond me! Good luck with your date hundreds, hope it goes well and he’s a gent xx #ablogginggoodtime
Jeez, what is wrong with these men!? I can’t believe how many of them were so pervy. Good luck, I hope you find a nice romantic man to take you on a lovely date. Sarah #ablogginggoodtime
People are unbelievable! I’ve read a few things recently about concerns that porn has given some people unrealistic expectations of normal sex and relationships and your experiences totally back this up I’d have said. Good luck on your date lovely, and good on you for writing such an honest account of online dating. #ablogginggoodtime Xxx
Oh god! I remember the hose days!
A friend was convinced me to sign up to Tinder. The first message I ever received was from a charming guy saying “will you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart”
Safe to say we did not take things any further!
Dating can be exciting but it can also be like a full time job! Good luck xx
#ablogginggoodtime
Oh Katie! I literally can’t believe how bad it is – my sister did internet dating a few years back and it was ridiculous (but she did meet her now husband online so don’t give up hope) all the rude messages and crude stuff flying about. Like Katie said has that ever worked for anyone?! She also had a guy turn slightly stalkerish which was freaky. I don’t get it though BUT as I say there are plenty of people who are decent and normal so hopefully you can sniff them out haha. #ablogginggoodtime
Oh yay! Good luck. I hope the date goes well. I’ve had no experience of online dating but I know it can be like that. People need to stop sending naked pics and actually start talking to people!
#ABloggingGoodTime
Oh my goodness! I cannot believe some people! Glad you’ve found one that appears normal!! Hope all goes well and he doesn’t turn out to be a weirdo too! I really feel for you, being genuine as you are. I hear so many stories of people joining these sites with no intention of finding anything serious, it must be so frustrating! Good luck hon xx #ablogginggoodtime
Aww I love a happy ending, personally I would have played along with the dick pic request and returned a google searched chick with a dick pic! Ahahahahahaha.
Keep us all posted on how the date went, happy you found someone who actually wants to know you and not your body! Xx
#ablogginggoodtime
just popping back on a #ablogginggoodtime , Lianne love that idea! xx
I think you are incredibly brave for putting yourself out there! What a nerve wrecking experience, there really are some douche bags out there… I LOVE your disclaimer, that should be the first message you send out 🙂 .. Looking forward to future updates and really hope you find a nice guy! xx #ablogginggoodtime
this sounds scary. I have never done internet dating but friends have. I am sure that the internet gives people licence to do/write things they wouldn’t otherwise do. good luck on your date. #ablogginggoodtime
Nice!!
I’ve always said if/when my husband finally gets sick of my slovenly ways I have every intention of becoming a crazy cat lady!!
#ablogginggoodtime
good luck! Kudos to you for getting up on that horse. I dont think I could do it.
#blogginggoodtime
good luck! Kudos to you for getting up on that horse. I dont think I could do it.
#blogginggoodtime
On one hand your post is funny, we got the laughs but on the other hand it is qiute sad – knowing that finding the right person to spend your life with can be extremely hard to find. I don’t know what happened to the men out there, but something is def off. I hope you find him – maybe even on this date you’re about to go. Wish you all the luck. I know it must be hard – I thank for my husband every single day, knowing that if he’d be gone one day, I would probably stay by myself after that..
#ablogginggoodtime
Oh my. What has happened to the world?! I cannot fathom what goes through these people’s heads when they decide to take naked pictures of themselves and send them to strangers. Blergh. Great post, good luck with your date! #ablogginggoodtime
Oh god it’s shocking! I can totally see why you took a break from it and then decided to get direct, I’m glad one worked out and hope the date went well! #ablogginggoodtime x
LOL. Good luck! I am not a hopeless romantic, i’m pretty happy with a beer and a movie on the couch, but i hope you find everything you’re looking for! Homework is BS. I try not to make my kids stress about it. they are too little for that. they already spend so much time in school, taking tests constantly, not enough recess time….homework can suck it
#ablogginggoodtime
Good luck on your date! I met my partner on Plenty of Fish, what a terrible site/app that used to be I can only imagine it being worse now! X #ablogginggoodtime
Cor internet dating sucks, good luck with your date X #ablogginggoodtime
Oh my god? Why do guys think this is a turn on? Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough time of it so far but fingers crossed for the date. I think putting that disclaimer on there was a great idea, sorts out the men from the boys x
#Ablogginggoodtime
I read this whilst nodding along at the same time. I internet dated for a while and encountered all the freaks and weirdos you mention above but thankfully, there was one shining light who I am still with and with whom we have a daughter. We’re getting married next summer 🙂
Don’t give up, I think after a while you just become quicker at spotting the freaks and oddballs. There will be the occasional romantic on there too; I hope you find one of them and find further happiness xx
Yikes! You are brave to enter the world of online dating, i admire you. I hope you meet someone fab and good luck on your date xx #abloggingoodtime
OMG I can’t believe people actually ask this. I suppose they are hidden behind a computer screen so this must give them a false sense of security! Good luck on your date! #ablogginggoodtime
This is really bloody scary. Just looking at the % of dodgy responses you got, pretty much 99% of the men out there are well dodgy. Dating is tough enough without having to deal with this crap. I actually did a jury service recently and had a case where the couple had met through internet dating. They’d ‘been together’ a year until things went wrong and it transpired that this year of ‘dating’ mostly happened by text and sexy photos. Like, which century was I born in? I just don’t get it. If men are sending messages like this, they must be getting some women sending them pictures??? Anyway, I know there are some very decent men out there and I hope you’ve found a good un. You do know we’re all expecting an update after the date now? The poor guy might run a mile when he finds out how many women know about him LOL #ablogginggoodtime
Hahaha… a good friend of mine has been internet shopping for a while now and the stories make me laugh every time! Good luck on your date, how exciting!! #ablogginggoodtime
Yeah I tried Match and it resulted in three dates: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The Ugly wasn’t really ugly, physically, and who knows whether the Good was really Good or not. But the Bad was baaaad. She brought a travel mug full of whiskey to a Scrabble club meetup I invited her to. (Hot date right?) lol #ablogginggoodtime
Hi Katie, well done you for being blunt. I hope you have a fantastic date. Are people so desperate that they actually use a paid service to try and get pictures of private parts? Especially when the internet is awash with pornographic material for free. It’s a strange world we live in!
#ablogginggoodtime
xx
This is unbelievable! I had no idea the dating world was like that right now. Fair play to you and your direct message! Made me laugh and think good on you 🙂
Good luck on the date!
#ablogginggoodtime
I was on match for a while but thankfully didn’t get any offers or requests for naked pictures. Don’t men realise that cocks are seriously ugly? The most likely response a girl is going to have is one of hysterical laughter? Next time someone offers reply with “Go on then, I need a good laugh”
Good luck on your date. I need to get back on the wagon myself but it’s so time-consuming! #ablogginggoodtime
Seriously men are donuts! My sister is on a few dating sites and get these all the time, honestly its hard to find men that aren’t looking for this kind of thing these days. I don’t get it, I do not want male parts taking up my inbox. This post gave me a good though and love your disclaimer to future potential dates. Good luck on your date #ablogginggoodtime
fab read, love will come when you least expect it x #ablogginggoodtime
Good luck on your date. I can’t imagine these guys are getting very far with their dick pics. Was never part of my strategy #blogginggoodtime
I hope that one day you will find a good guy but nowadays it’s very common that they asking you about such a shitty thinks:/
#ablogginggoodtime
This is sad to read in one way but also made me giggle a little bit – being a nurse I have a habit of wanting to giggle at inappropriate moments – it’s a survival instinct. But funnily enough one of my younger colleagues has joined the world of internet dating after a marriage break up – I believe she’s been showing off a c-ck shot! Now I know why. Glad you’ve got more decorum & grace.
Good luck with your date
I’m so glad Internet dating hadn’t happened yet when I was single – I don’t think I could have coped! #ablogginggoodtime
Oh I do wish you luck and romance and love and good times. What has happened to the world and how can a guy think a cock shot is a good opener. Have they ever met a woman? Oy vey. We need a yenta to fix you up with someone worthy! M’wah! #Ablogginggoodtime
Loved your post! Internet darling sounds like a jungle!! So, how dis that date go?