It’s the end of the day and I have just sat down. Our day began somewhere between 5am and 7 am and depending on the day of the week, we’ve been on the go pretty much the whole day with nursery, work, meal times, social engagements, mundane tasks like shopping and housework and we’re all exhausted.It’s usually around about 8.30pm when I have finally eaten and sat down and unless I have some work to finish off, have a moment to myself and it’s at this point I go through what happened during the day and start to wonder, did I do enough?
Physically yes, I did more than enough running round, backwards and forwards and Alyssa and I will have had cuddles and moments together, but in our everyday life am I taking enough time to actually make memories with her? In 9 months-time she will be starting school and with that deadline looming it’s making me worry I have wasted the 3.5 precious years I have had her at home.
It has gone so fast… I feel like I have blinked and my tiny 5lb baby is a fierce independent, thinks she’s a teenager, little pre-schooler. We, or at least I, will find myself at the end of a day and I’ll think to myself, “oh well, there is always tomorrow,” but the tomorrow’s run out faster than you think.
It made me think whether I am not only making enough memories for my daughter but also for myself. I may only be in my early thirties, but I am youngish and technically single, so whilst I am a mother I also need to make sure I take the time for me and make memories of Katie as a person and not just as a mother.
I had a light bulb moment whilst writing this and remembered that when Alyssa was 4 months old and my blog first begun, I wrote a “Mummy and Alyssa’s Before School Bucket List” and it was a list of 101 things I wanted to do with my daughter before she started school. It ranged from go on a train to make sandcastles on the beach to take a trip to Disneyland – some very achievable and some less so.
Honestly, I was reluctant to click over and read because I was pretty sure I’d feel ashamed of the number we’d actually achieved. I began working my way down the list and by the thirties, a smile had begun to spread across my face as I began to realise how much we had seen and done together. In fact, out of 101 things I said I’d like to do with Alyssa before she started school, there were less than 20 we hadn’t done, meaning there were over 80 memories of special things we’d done together.
As parents, we give ourselves such a hard time over working, staying at home, disciplining, parenting techniques, wanting a little bit of a life away from parenting… you name it and there is a parent out there who feels guilty or worries about it. Yes, we should definitely be taking time out to make memories, be it for ourselves, our children or both, but it doesn’t have to be much. A memory can be made in 5 seconds, let alone 5 minutes or hours.
The important thing is to make them.
*This is a collaborative post.