(As a pre-warning, this post does contain pictures of breastfeeding – these are not meant to offend anyone and are just being used to highlight the point and issue of this post!)
When Alyssa arrived 5 weeks early, I was seriously concerned about whether or not my milk would come in for her. I remember sitting there that first night, with only a picture of her to look at, massaging my boob with the Midwife there to help catch each precious drop that I managed to squeeze out. Two days later, I was able to start breastfeeding her and we haven’t looked back since. During the first week of our stay in hospital, the only time I was able to hold my baby was when we were feeding – this time was so precious to me and just made me feel like mummy rather than the anxious person annoying the staff.
Now, when I was pregnant and post pregnancy, I have continually been asked “How do you feed your baby?” I have been asked this by friends, family, strangers, doctors, midwives, health visitors and when I have said I breastfeed, 99% of the time I get a smile and nod from them like “Ah yes well… breast is best!” This is a slogan I have heard over and over and over again. However, I consider myself LUCKY that I am able to breastfeed my baby and that it is enough for her. However, mum’s the world over, for one reason or another are unable or choose not to breastfeed… guess what? That’s OKAY too. At the end of the day, as long as the baby is fed, happy and loved and getting what they need, it is each parents own individual choice how they feed their baby.
I was quite upset to find the above article on Facebook the otherday, with a new marketing campaign for Breast in Best with these fruit style stickers on boobs. I mean come on?! We have enough pressure on us as parents as it is to always do the right thing…. but this? This genuinely looks designed to make woman who can’t or choose not to breastfeed feel bad. When I left hospital, breastfeeding, I was given a bottle of vitamins that I was to give my daughter a syringe full of every day. I would like to point out, that had I left the hospital bottle feeding her, I would not have been given these vitamins… something to think about! Breast is best for me and my little one, but that is not the same for every mum and baby.
As I have said, the number of times I have heard “Breast is Best” throughout and post-pregnancy is actually insane. I can see both sides and understand why it is promoted but at the same time I don’t think we should be putting a downer on parents who feel the baby is better off on bottled milk. I was lucky enough that I am able to breastfeed, and there is nothing I enjoy more, than cosying up with bubba and letting her snuggle down for a bit of boob…at home. Going out…?! That is a whole other story.
Despite the fact that “Breast is Best” is written everywhere and practically rammed down our throats, how many women actually feel comfortable breastfeeding in public?! I have to say, that mostly I do not. I would rather go and sit in my car, or on the odd occasion find a mother and baby room, than feed in a public place. Why? Have you seen the abuse and horrendous way breastfeeding mums are being treated?! They are told to stop, go somewhere more private, go and sit on a toilet and a myriad of other things because the sight of their breast is offending someone else…. wow! The stories I read across social media platforms and even now on the news just saddens me. You may not approve, or even like the idea of breastfeeding, but making someone feel bad, insecure or uncomfortable with a lifestyle choice they have made for their child? No, No and NO! This is not right. If I ever feed in public, I generally make sure I am tucked out of the way and not in plain sight of a lot of people and actually drape a muslin over myself to reduce exposure. Therefore, in total you probably see about a fingers worth of breast skin during feeding. Most women that I have seen and spoken to cover up, so what may I ask is the big deal?!
This person has the right idea… and I have to say that I am happy to finally see people standing up for a baby’s right to eat in public. You could be damn sure people would complain more if the baby was screaming it’s head off with hunger or would people jump straight to labelling that as child abuse? It basically seems to me, that we as parents can’t win no matter what we do in the eyes of some. If we breastfeed, we are subject to abuse and ridicule for exposure. Then, to add final insult to injury, we are now facing bans and removals from social media websites, for sharing pictures of our babies enjoying the “ever important” au naturale method of feeding!!  If we bottle feed, we are subjected to know it all comments about the “lack of effort made to breastfeed” and a never ending campaign of media and people telling us we are wrong to not be “all natural!” Where does it end? Parents, new and experienced, have enough worries, guilt and pressure that they put on themselves with the help of society in general. So don’t you think that we deserve a little slack??
So whether you are a mummy that chooses to breastfeed or a mummy and daddy combo that choose to bottle feed, whichever decision you have made, know that it was the right decision for you. As long as your baby is loved, happy and healthy that is all that matters. Pay no attention to the haters. I have been twitching to write about this for a while and those stickers were the last straw for me this week. So how do you feel? Are you a boob or a bottle? Either way, you are doing a great job as a parent… YOU ROCK!!
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30 Comments
Great post and you said so well what many people think! I know that breastfeeding is best but it’s so much pressure on women… And yet, we can only do it in ‘appropriate places’. The logic of our society, you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t…#ablogginggoodtime
So agreed. Ridiculous xx
Great post. And well done for feeing an early baby – I didn’t manage to with my son.
#blogginggoodtime
Oh bless you. Bet you’re still an awesome mum x
Well said! I’m hoping to breastfeed if I can but am really not too concerned right now if I can’t do it, I know that my baby will get what it needs one way or another. It seems like you can’t win, there will always be judgement and pressure either way and the reaction some women breastfeeding in public still get is shocking – the illustration in your post is spot on! #ablogginggoodtime
It’s a very personal thing and other people should mind their own beeswax! I had a good experience with BF but it doesn’t mean that I couldn’t wait to stop doing it so that we could share the load a bit! #ablogginggoodtime
This is such an empowering post, thank you! Totally agree, parents know their bodies and their babies best! #ablogginggoodtime
Well said -I couldn’t agree more. I think us moms can’t win either way sometimes! #ablogginggoodtime
Love this post, way too much pressure on women about feeding any way. Going to share this on my facebook page x #ablogginggoodtime
Totally agree with you. Each mother and baby is different and breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. I fed my boy for 10months and I feel so lucky to have been able to. Ahh I was not a fan of feeding in public either..not looking forward to experiencing that again when baby number 2 arrives xx #blogginggoodtime
So well said! Women should never feel judged, only supported to do what works for them. Parenting is hard enough without being put under so much pressure! #ablogginggoodtime
I had issues with tongue ties with both my boys. With my first I struggled to feed for 12 long painful weeks. The pressure I put on myself was ridiculous. I nearly went cuckoo. We switched to formula and it was the best decision ever. With my second he still had a tongue tie and painful latch bit we struggled and continue to struggle through. Still breastfeeding at 22 months. Pewh! #ablogginggoodtime
fab post, its such a big deal I struggled with feeding and didn’t manage long at all with my first born, it really upset me. But do you know what, he’s no worse off for how he was fed. xx
forgot to add popping over from #ablogginggoodtime
This is such a great post, and an important point to make. I was lucky enough to be able to breast feed both of my children but with my second it was a very rough start with her losing weight and nearly being hospitalised (never would have happened with a bottle) and took lots of massage to get my milk in faster. And while I managed 8 months with my first (had to stop when the teeth got too sharp!), I only managed 5 with my second because she just fed so much better from a bottle (I expressed to begin with but gradually dried within another month). I also never felt comfortable breastfeeding in public, although I never had any hurtful comments or looks on the rare occasions I did. Every single person and experience is different and at the end of the day as long as the baby is getting fed and loved nothing else matters.
#ablogginggoodtime
Great post. I just don’t understand why anyone thinks someone else’s choice is their business and why people are so intent on putting others down or making them feel bad! #ablogginggoodtime
I love your photos of you feeding – so gorgeous. I am currently breastfeeding my 13 month old and feel incredibly lucky to have been able to have a brilliant feeding journey. It makes me sad for those women who WANT to breastfeed but haven’t been able to through lack of support. Well done to you for feeding a prem baby! #ablogginggoodtime
I desperately wanted to breastfeed both of my children. Due to various reasons and difficulties it didn’t work out. I felt incredibly guilty but my children are happy and healthy so I look back and know that I made the right decision. That being said the support out there for both breast and bottle feeding women is terrible. As a society we shouldn’t bat an eyelid when a baby is being fed, no matter how they are being fed.
Oh my goodness, not sure how I missed the boob-fruit-stickers thing! What on earth??!! #ablogginggoodtime
I have been fortunate enough to to breastfeed both of mine, however as you say the choice is ours to make, and no one should be made to feel guilty about their choice. I had not seen the advert, it does seem ridiculous. Well done for writing the post, it’s such an important issue. #ablogginggoodtime xxx
Brilliant post and I couldn’t agree more. I chose to breastfeed and more me it was great – far from easy – but great, but mostly because I couldn’t cope with the idea of having to prepare bottles at 3am. Hats off to those Mamas (and Papas) that do! We each do what feels right for us and as long as Mum and Baby are happy then high fives all round. Love the Facebook image – so true. Boobs are only allowed out if they are “fun bags”, they’re not allowed out if they’re doing anything boring, like giving life and nourishment to a small human! Excellent points and very well made. #ablogginggoodtime xx
I bottle fed because that’s what ended up working for me. N would latch but wouldn’t suck, and then expressing didn’t work well enough either to warrant the stress and time of trying to do it, when he could be fed by bottle super quick and get from screaming hungry to full in less than 1o minutes. Turned out he had tongue tie but no-one picked up on it until he was 2 1/2 years and talking!
I didn’t feel frowned on by anyway for bottle feeding (not even the midwives or health visitor who I expected to push breast feeding more) but generally was out and about with my NCT group so 6 breast feeding and 2 of us bottle feeding. Yes breast feeding is shoved down your throat by media, on social media and in campaigns, but tbh as long as you’ve made the right decision for feeding your baby for your family and baby, then you should be strong enough to ignore it, or agree that everyone has a reason and choice for doing what they do. Although I do think people who could do it, and don’t even try are mugs, purely for the cost reason. Formula is sooo expensive!
I can’t believe the press that booby feeding makes constantly, i just want to shake the media and tell them to do one!! It shouldn’t be such a hot topic. It’s food get over it! I am not the most confident of persons but I have never hid away from feeding in public and I have never had any bad comments or odd looks. Rah! #abloggingoodtime
I was so so sad to not be able to feed Bubs and from 3 days old I had to get the bottle. I managed to express for the first month but that was all. I felt like a total failure, that I’d let her down and was unable to give her what she needed. Everywhere I looked it was breast is best and all the propaganda (it felt like) that accompanied this mind set. I felt broken and Crap. I totally agree that more support should be given to those Mums in similar situations mine and that the whole breast is best isn’t constantly paraded in front of us as it cuts so deep. Your post is fab and it felt good to hear your views. I agree…we all rock! And like my friend said to me so long as they are fed with love they will want for nothing. Just off to dry my eyes.xxxxx #ablogginggoodtime
Absolutely agree. Everyone’s circumstances are different – no-one should judge another’s choice. Alison x #ablogginggoodtime
Argh like many this topic can get me so riled. Whilst I do believe breast is best the pressure is not, and those stickers. Oh my god I find them offensive. The last thing a post partum mum needs, a mum who has wanted to BF, struggled, beat herself up etc etc is a f*cking sticker saying s BF baby has less chance of dying in their sleep. I mean really, it’s infuriating. I had such a difficult BF journey with both mine and I made myself ill the first time refusing to give up. Yes breast is best but at what cost? You are right it is also OK to bottle feed as long as your baby is loved cherished and getting what they need then that’s what matters. Eeer sorry didn’t mean to go on lol xx #ablogginggoodtime
Absolutely spot on! What is right for me might not be right for you or someone else. Everyone should make their own choice based on needs and wants and no one should have anything to say about it. I breastfed both my children until they were about 15 months old and I am happy with my choice. It worked for me and for them. Just lay off everyone mind your own business #ablogginggoodtime
Hadn’t seen those stickers – bit of an odd campaign. I totally agree that people can feed how they choose, without judgements, we just need to make sure that women who do breastfeed are comfortable to do so wherever #ablogginggoodtime
Well said – great post. It seems is Mum’s will never win! Always judged by someone somewhere… #ablogginggoodtime
Yup basically xx