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#ABloggingGooodTime Week 10
3rd August 2016
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8th August 2016

You Matter to Me!

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We remember the most random of moments in our lives don’t we? I can remember being in nursery school and playing Mary in the Nativity. I can remember in middle school standing on a stage and forgetting my words in the play and saying someone else’s lines instead. I remember the look in that guys eyes when he first said he loved me. I remember every detail about my first cuddle with my daughter and… I remember the day I virtually met the person this blog post is all about and for. I want her to know, in this time when she is questioning what  to do, where to go and if she should carry on, that whatever happens, her and her friendship matter to me…

two glasses of wine

 

I have made no secret of my history with friends. Like everything else in my life I have shared it with every single one of you… more specifically what happened between me and my now ex-best friend in “Bullying & Betrayal: What the Hell Happened to Friendship?!” After this and the breakdown of my relationship, I have to say that I ran back home to my family shut the door and was happy to hide away. I cut myself off from everyonewoman sat at a computer writing with a cup of coffee and everything and didn’t honestly want to socialise with anyone except my mum and the rest of my family. Now I admit that that is no way to live but at the time it was what I needed to do.

Then I found myself thrown into the blogging world (I threw myself in head first) and I was determined that despite the social nature of my now job, that I wouldn’t get attached to anyone or anything… I mean what’s the point because people only hurt you in the end right? Well, that didn’t last long as the wonderful people in this strange land wore me down and I found myself reaching out and eventually craving a friendship of my own however virtual that may be. I had seen all the “blogging royalty” talking about finding their tribe and their besties and I thought where was mine? Of course, me being me, popped it all down into a blog post “Personal Ad: Blogger Seeks Tribe!” and here 6 months later I find myself with my very own tribe of over 60 members with even more followers than that…. but it was you that responded to me first. It was you who left me a message, telling me that I was not alone and that you felt the same and that maybe, only if I wanted to, I would like to chat sometime…and we did. In fact, we have’t really stopped have we?

woman chatting on a laptopSince those first few tentative messages when we really didn’t know what we were saying to each other to late nights giggling and chatting… sharing highs and lows, insecurities and wisdom, I never ever thought I would have a close friend again and despite the fact we have never managed to meet in person and thanks to our busy lives sometimes go days without talking it doesn’t matter, because whenever we hear that ping of a message we are both there. Well my lovely, this post is one big massive BING to let you know that I am here.

I know that you are lost right now and are not sure which way to go… should you just pack it all in and give up because thanks to some crummy stats chart (that FYI I think is bloody wrong) you are not making an impact? Should you stop wasting time that you often don’t feel like you have? Honestly? I cannot make that decision for you and whatever you decide I will be behind you like I have in everything for the past six months, but before you make that decision I just wanted you to know that you matter. You matter to me, Your blog matters to me. It was one of the first blogs I connected to and found myself wanting to read. It was the first blog that gave me a post that made me cry. I could write a lisa woman holding her head blurredt a mile long telling you all the reasons I love your blog and what you do but I am pretty sure you would tell me to STFU so I shall stop rambling on…

I can imagine that you are sat there not knowing which way to go and I am hoping that this is simply a lapse in confidence and that maybe this post will help you get your blogging mojo back – because when you have it, you write like magic. However, you don’t need to believe or listen to me…just look, read and listen to all the comments left on your blog. Look at all the subscribers and followers you have – yes as you pointed out, 90% of them may be other bloggers but did you remember that those bloggers are also mummies, daddies, parents just like you who when taking off their blogger hat welcome the opportunity to read a post that you have written that may just help them in some way and like my post back in February did for you and make them realise they are not alone?

Have hope and faith my friend, you and your blog are so much more than you give yourself credit for and I, along with the thousands (yes I said thousands and NO that was not a typo) of followers and readers you have truly believe in what you do. However, if you do decide the end has come I will still be here answering every bing just as I know that you will.

two women stood on a hill in shadow one with arms in the air

Whatever decision you make my friend I will support you but before you go anywhere, I just wanted you to know that you may think you have had no impact but that is not true. You and your blog which shares your life have had such an impact on mine and for that I cannot thank you enough. So I just wanted to let you know that actually… You Matter to Me!
Have you met friends online that have made a difference to you?
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66 Comments

  1. Sarah says:

    Ahhhh! I love my bloggy friends, I would be so, so lonely without them! #Tribe

  2. Ah this is so lovely. You’re a wonderful friend and I don’t know where I’d be without our tribe, giving me so much love and support all the time xxx #tribe

  3. This made me cry! But in a good way… Thank you my friend ? I promise to get my mojo back ASAP. Much love ❤️ I thank my lucky stars that I reached out to you that day. That is the power of your writing. Look what you have achieved. #TribalLove

  4. What a lovely blog. I have only just started my blogging adventure but
    I really do hope to connect with some lovely people and make friends like you clearly have xx #BigPinkLink

    • Mummy in a Tutu says:

      Oh thanks sweet. I have a blogging friend community. #tribalchat join us on twitter 8pm every Tuesday night xx

  5. This is so lovely and made me quite emotional. Some of my best friends were people I met on line, through an on-line antenatal club when I was pregnant with my first baby, and again with my second who was stillborn in 2006. Those women helped me through the worst time of my life, through the death of my son, the breakdown of my marriage and they were there, day and night to build me back up, from all walks of life and all corners of the world, and never once let me down. They were there in person on my wedding day to my second husband, came visiting as soon as they possibly could after the birth of my third, fourth and fifth child, and I know that whatever happens in life, they will be there for me, be that in person or at the end of a phone, and I couldn’t ask for more. It sounds as though you have some wonderful friends on line too, we are very lucky aren’t we? #bigpinklink

  6. Emma Jones says:

    Ah how lovely. I’ve yet to really get a blogger tribe & find it a very solitary pursuit but I’ve had the odd online chat with some lovely people. Hope you friend decides the best course for her. #bigpinklink Lifeinthemumslane

  7. Ellen says:

    Ah Katie this is so gorgeous. It can be hard sometimes because a negative reaction or dip in stats can feel so demoralising, so disappointing. But I think we are all too quick to overlook all the positive comments, the people who enjoy what we write, who have laughed or cried or been made to think about something because of words we’ve written – pretty fucking cool, eh? So even if we’re not the biggest bloggers or don’t have thousands of readers (I wish I had thousands of readers ?) we can still do something great. #bigpinklink

  8. Jenny says:

    Oh this is so sad (and nice!). Tell your friend we all lose our mojo and we all feel like we’re writing only for no one to read it. I hope your friend takes notice of your words and feels better soon (and doesn’t give up). Good luck to both of you!

    #Bigpinklink

  9. Such a beautiful post and I really hope it helps your friend too. Its spoken to me and even given me a little boost as I too worry about a few of the things your friend has mentioned to you. Thank you for linking to #bigpinklink x

  10. This is a really beautiful post, and I am certain, many more than me, feel you are writing to us individually. Thank you for that. I am glad to meet you and look forward to egtting to know you! Friend. #bigpinklink

  11. This is a really touching post. I started blogging 6 months ago and I feel like I have been let into a big secret club, ie. the blogging community. It was lovely to meet you briefly at BritMums! I have been meaning to join tribal chat every tuesday for a while now…ok since it started!!! the closest I got was logging in one the last question….I will make it one evening!!! It’s amazing how quickly you can make brilliant friendships online and your post is a testament to this. X #BloggerClubUK

  12. This is truly lovely. I usually feel as it I’m not ‘worth it’ in the blogging world and then something happens which makes me realise how amazing all the other bloggers out there are! I can’t do ‘tribe chat’ (I think it’s on a Tuesday?) because I solo parent 5 days a week and it’s smack in the middle of bedtime (I know, I know, they should be going to bed earlier) but the last 7.5 months have been revelatory to me in terms of making friends online. Everyone’s blog matters – not just to them… there are so many that have inspired me and I am grateful to them every day! #bloggerclubuk

  13. Returning from #bestandworst xx

  14. You’re such a kind, supportive and generous Tribe Mama, thank god we have you! This is a beaut of a post for #BigPinkLink xxx

  15. Claire says:

    This lovely! The blogging community is so lovely and this is very touching #fortheloveofblog

  16. wendy says:

    Aww this post is lovely and what a lovely blogging friend you are. I hope the blogger you’re talking about reads thus and gets her mojo back xx #blogginggoodtime

  17. Lisa Savage says:

    Its so important that we tell the people we love and admire how we feel. What a great post and I hope she’s listening 😉 #ablogginggoodtime

  18. Rhian Harris says:

    Ah what a lovely post! I hope she sticks with whatever she isn’t sure about. Only she can achieve her dreams #ablogginggoodtime

  19. Aaaw what a lovely post and dedication to your friend. I hope she finds much encouragement from it. It can be so difficult to look past the stats, but even if your blog only helps 1 person, that makes it worthwhile in my book! #ABloggingGoodTime

  20. Emma says:

    Such a lovely, lovely post. I think we have to take those stats with a pinch of salt and remember why we write. I don’t have great stats but then that’s not why I write. However, sometimes it is easy to forget, especially when those charts come out! We should always remember that the number doesn’t reflect the quality of our blog 🙂 xx

  21. Emma says:

    oh poop I always forget the hashtag #ablogginggoodtime 🙂

  22. Geraldine says:

    This is probably one of the best blog posts I’ve ever read. So beautiful, encouraging and supportive. You are a great friend #ablogginggoodtime

  23. What a lovely tribute! I do think this is probably one of the reasons I started blogging. I don’t have any family near me and not really any ‘close’ friends. I used to, and her other half was also my husbands best friend, it was an easy match and he was going to be our best man at our wedding etc. Then, 6 months before the wedding they just fell off the face of the earth. Wouldn’t return calls, texts, emails, they moved house with no following address. To this day we have no idea what happened. It came a couple of years after my dad cut his whole family off after meeting a new woman and refused to have anything to do with us again and I think the combination of both really left me feeling like I didn’t want to let anyone else get that close to me in case they left too. I really struggle with allowing relationships to grow now – I tend to come up with excuses not to meet or catch up when it feels like it’s getting a bit close. I’m working on that though as I want to be a good example for Arthur. So glad you’ve found what you were looking for: #ablogginggoodtime

  24. Really love this post and the images you have chosen to go with it. Really fab. #ablogginggoodtime

  25. This is lovely, its such a great community to be a part of.

    #ablogginggoodtime x

  26. Michelle says:

    This is a great post and such a wonderful way to let someone you care about know that you are there for them no matter what decision they make! Thanks so much for hosting #ablogginggoodtime

  27. Such a beautiful post. You are lucky to have found each other and become such good friends.
    #ablogginggoodtime

  28. Urgh stat’s shmats – I have NO IDEA what my stats are, I’m sure they are absolute buttons compared to every other blog out there but I didn’t start blogging so I had one more thing to stress about and I’m sure your friend didn’t either. Hopefully she will realise that and remember why she started blogging in the first place. We all lose our mojo from time-to time. Sometimes all that’s needed is a little blogging break to recharge our batteries and gain a clear perspective to start fresh (no, the world will not end and people will not suddenly forget you!)
    Really lovely of you to write this post for your friend, you have obviously developed a close bond through your blogs which is so cool, I hope it helps her in her decision to do what’s best and that she feels happier whatever she decides to do.

  29. Tammymum says:

    Ah that’s really lovely I do hope said person has seen it and taken the message on board. Very thoughtful post Katie. It’s hard not get wrapped up stats and leaderboards etc but it’s important to remember it’s not the b all and end all xx #bigpinklink

  30. Ellen says:

    Just popped back for #ablogginggoodtime, still love this gorgeous post X

  31. Wow – what a powerful and emotional post. I really hope your friend takes heed and does look past her stats. I feel sure she is having a much bigger impact than she realises regardless of the numbers. This really is a very lovely and supportive community and although I haven’t thrown myself into the socialising stuff (just don’t have the time and that’s definitely my way in all social situations – virtual or otherwise) there are lots of blogs that I very much admire (this one and an imperfect mum’s your host for this linky included) and I feel like I’m getting to know the bloggers (you guys too) through their posts who seem soooooo nice and friendly. Good luck to your friend. I hope her crisis of confidence passes and I have no doubt she knows just how lucky she is to have you fighting her corner. xx #ablogginggoodtime x

  32. Petite Words says:

    A lovely post, so pure and true. Friends are everything, the bones of our lives. #ablogginggoodtime

  33. This is a lovely post, really honest and caring. It’s so important to let people know that they matter, there is so much value in this. Xx #ablogginggoodtime

  34. Aw bless you..,this is such a lovely post and I am so glad you made your tribe happen!! The blogging community is awesome and made such a difference to my life. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx

  35. Oh Katie. You really are a wonderful person. Such a lovely affectionate post about a lovely lovely friend. So glad I showed up too because i don’t think I’d have continued blogging if I hadn’t found you all like I did. Sending many virtual hugs to all concerned! Xxx #bloggygoodtime!!

  36. Such a beautiful post. Two years in & I still haven’t found my tribe. I have met some amazing & inspiring bloggers though, both IRL & online. I just really know where I fit in #ablogginggoodtime

  37. What a lovely post. So nice to think that there is a welcoming blogging community. Only just started really and everyone has been great so far, looking forward to finding out more now that I’ve read this post #Sharingthebloglove

  38. It’s the way that other bloggers support each other like this that keeps me going. We all have our down days, but it helps to have other people around to pick us back up when we lose our blogging mojo. I’m really glad that I saw your tribe post! #ablogginggoodtime

  39. What a beautiful, encouraging post. Making friends in the online world is such a precious gift and makes such a huge difference in those moments when blogging all seems a bit much and stats and things like that get you down. It’s easy to get caught up in stats and forget that they don’t reflect the words that have a real impact on one person somewhere who really needed to read what you wrote that day. Hope your lovely friend rediscovers her blogging mojo #ablogginggoodtime

  40. Jane Taylor says:

    The world needs more Katies! What a lovely post and what a lovely, thoughtful friend you are. You have a gift of encouragement and also of empathy. You have an ability to put yourself in someone elses shoes and understand what they are going through…A special thing.
    I’m so grateful for the help and support of my blogging friends too…Just when I thought my ‘cup was already overflowing’ with wonderful friends, some more came along via blogging and made me feel like I was just being greedy to have even more marvellous folk in my life. I feel so very, very privileged and blessed.

    Thanks for sharing and I do hope your mojo returns, Catie.

  41. This is such a beautiful post! Really hit home with me! Thank you. #ablogginggoodtime

  42. Oh how totally gorgeous?! The online support has been incredible and there is never a time that someone isn’t round to chat – love it! That you so much for letting me part of your tribe Katie xx #ablogginggoodtime

  43. Aww lovely post x I hope it gives his person a big boost! I really felt like you were talking to me!! Ha, I am so bogged down with stats and feeling rubbish about the pathetic numbers, but I have to keep remembering that I blog for me and my sanity so something is working! Really enjoyed reading this #blogginggoodtime

  44. i don’t have blogging friends more associates but that is ok because i am autistic and is less to deal with then seek out. but I am glad you have friends as it makes a huge difference to talk others on your wavelength X #ablogginggoodtime

  45. Such a lovely post. It’s wondetful that you have found such a good friend, especially after all you have been though. I love reading both of your blogs. #ablogginggoodtime

  46. Kate Orson says:

    Such a lovely post! Beautifully written the way you are talking to the reader. It really is wonderful to find like-minded friends in the blogging world. #ablogginggoodtime

  47. Helena says:

    Ah the curious side of me wants to know who it is you are talking about. We should blog because we enjoy it and are creating memories not because of stats. #ablogginggoodtime

  48. Jennifer says:

    Thank you of being so supportive of your fellow bloggers. I am a pretty new blogger from the States ( only been blogging since Feb). Often I feel like no one really reads my blog. This was until a friend of mine mentioned that she had read every post and wanted to start her own blog. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  49. Caroline says:

    This is such a lovely post, I don’t really think I have found a tribe or any close blogging friends I need to put myself out there more, it just seems that everyone already has their tribe and I’m just watching on from the outside and popping by to say hi once in a while. #ablogginggoodtime x

  50. Louise says:

    I love watching my real time views. Just knowing someone out there is connecting with my words. I don’t care if it is 1 or 100. I hope your friend knows who they are and makes the right choice. #ablogginggoodtime x

  51. What a gorgeous post! I hope someone writes to me like this one day. I hope your friend doesn’t end her blogging journey, just as I am beginning mine. I actually started my blog today, and posted my first ever blog post! I hope to feel like you do now and find my tribe in time. This is my first linky. I really enjoyed reading this and am sure you have both touched peoples lives, many you will never know of. Forget the stats! #ablogginggoodtime

  52. What a lovely post. I have definitely made some lovely friends trough blogging too and it’s a great way to escape too. #fortheloveofblog

  53. Reading this just made me feel really emotional. You are such a good friend Katie and I hope no one gives up anything because you are right her blog does matter to many of us. Of course the tribe is my anchor and I don’t think I would still be here if it wasn’t for you all. #ablogginggoodtime

  54. Ali Duke says:

    What a wonderful post. your friend is very lucky to have you. I hope that I will carve out some lovely blog friendships like this.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  55. It really is lovely to have such a wonderful blogging community. Im.always thankful for our tribe and all the support it provides. This was such a beautiful and heart-felt post. Thanks for sharing!#TribalLove #Ablogginggoodtime

  56. Laura says:

    This is absolutely beautiful and such a lovely tribute. I love the blogging world so much xx #ablogginggoodtime

  57. Silly Mummy says:

    This is so lovely! It’s easy to get really disillusioned with blogging, or wonder if you’re actually achieving anything for all the work. I feel it a lot. If the chart in question is Tots, so not worth worrying about! Says the person who was quite upset the one before last when she dropped nearly 400 places. But, though I am not immune to feeling downheartened or excited about it, depending on result, really I know it doesn’t mean that much. It is erratic & actually it changes very little about how successful or known or anything else people are. I have promised myself that if it ever starts really getting me down, I am just going to remove myself from it – it won’t change anything! Anyway, I think I know who this is about, & definitely hope that she keeps going and feels better about it all, as she’s fantastic! #ablogginggoodtime

  58. Yes so many bloggy friends and they make the world of difference. Mich x

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