We conceive the baby. We spend 9 months growing the baby (though mine only wanted to bake for 8). Then suddenly this brand new person appears as if from no where to share this brand new little person with you. No I am not talking about those random “friends” that appear from the past to ooo and ahh at the baby then disappear back where they came from (that’s a post for a whole other time!) I am in fact talking about a species known as the “Health Visitor! “
To be fair, when I became pregnant, I wasn’t even sure they still existed. Everything is so clinical these days, that I assumed I would be taking Alyssa to my doctors for check ups from a faceless locum doctor I have never seen before (because heaven forbid I get past the gestapo that is the surgery receptionist and see my own quite excellent doctor ) so imagine my surprise when I received a phone call informing me that the person I was speaking to was in fact my health visitor and that once my baby and I were home she’d be paying us a visit!
As I’ve mentioned before, in ‘Alyssa’s Arrival: SCBU and all’ my little bundle was early and we had to spend 2 weeks in hospital. Unsurprisingly, I was quite shocked when one of my SCBU nurses turned to me and said “Oh, by the way your health visitor is my mum!” I had up until that point forgotten about the fact I had one, let alone that I would be seeing her soon. Instantly my mind went into overdrive; would they be discussing me? Would they be sharing things they thought I was doing wrong? Who is this woman anyway? To be honest, I really could have done without the pressure of having someone new coming into my life at a traumatic time when I just wanted to be able to cuddle my baby and be comfortable at home. But obviously, it’s unavoidable. From the moment I left the hospital, the countdown began. The health visitor was coming.
I mean, what does a health visitor do anyway? I had visions of some busybody person arriving, whipping my baby out of arms, taking over, telling me everything I was doing wrong, everything I should be doing, harping on at me about breast is best, no co-sleeping, don’t handle your baby too much blah blah blah blah! This was going to be an absolute bloody nightmare.
The morning she was due to arrive I dashed out of bed (which for someone with c-section stitches was not the best idea) and went around making sure everything was clean and tidy to within an inch of its life! Then I went and put on the first lot of make-up I’d worn since finding out I was pregnant. Not a huge amount, but enough to hide the fact that I was tired and upset from dealing with the complete and nasty break down of my relationship to The Ex-Dad! However, I did not want the health visitor to know that I was tired – My baby was happy, healthy, well-fed, I was breastfeeding, she was mostly sleeping in her moses basket… we were all good! Of course I had to get Alyssa ready too; thoroughly bathed that morning, even though she had only had a bath the night before, lavender oil rubbed into her skin and then the cutest, cleanest, most pristine outfit I could find (in fact I am pretty sure it still had the label on before this moment!) Okay, we were ready. A quick flash of nerves and insecurity passed across my mind and then the doorbell rang!
 My mum went and opened the door as I sat on the sofa cradling Alyssa, wondering what fate was about to befall us. Then in walked, what I can only describe now, as my Fairy Godmother! This lovely lady, smile first, came bimbling into the room carrying all the gear they have to carry round, popped it on the floor, sat down and said hello. She looked so warm and friendly and actually looked at me when I was speaking and not just at the baby. Firstly, she asked me how I was?! I mean what the hell?! Didn’t everyone only want to know about the baby???!! No, apparently not. Once she had a cup of tea and we had been speaking for a few minutes, it was at that point that she finally started to ask about Alyssa and how she was doing. Shockingly, she never in the whole time I have had a health visitor, asked to hold her or taken her from me….ever!
We had to weigh Alyssa and measure her growth (one of the things they ACTUALLY do) and it was me that undressed the baby, me that put her on the scales and me that redressed her. Of course, I actually offered her a cuddle if she would like one which of course she said yes to – but that’s all it was, a cuddle with my cute little bundle.
What surprised me a lot was how much, apart from the measurements, she focused on me. This lovely, lovely lady came over, had a cup of tea and sat and chatted to me about anything and everything I wanted to. She made me feel like I was doing everything right because I was following my instincts. Within the first few seconds of meeting her, she had completely put me at ease. This dragon of a person I had been expecting, never materialised. Â Instead, as I said, I was sent a Fairy Godmother! She thought absolutely nothing of the fact that on her third visit I whipped out my boob to show her my nipple and how cracked and sore it was and asked for some advice! When Alyssa peed all over her hands during one of her first weigh-ins she merely laughed, washed her hands and got out some anti-bac gel. Rather than telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing she merely praised me for what I had done and how responsive I was to my daughter.
 Another thing that I thought was excellent, was that she wrote down and told me where all the local baby and toddler groups were and also where our local children’s centre was if I fancied taking any classes such as baby yoga or a breastfeeding class. When Alyssa had really bad nappy rash she made ‘other’ suggestions, she was not afraid of alternative therapies and although I never did, I just wanted to hug her each time and say thank you!
Sadly, she retired just after Alyssa’s 4 month check-up and we haven’t seen or heard from any health visitor since. We were told that a new one would call us and see us for a 6-8 month check-up but we are nearly at 8 months and I haven’t heard anything which is a shame though I am not sure anyone could come close to the amazing lady I had before. So what does a health visitor ACTUALLY do? They offer support, advice, a friendly ear and generally oo and ahh at how adorable your new little bundle of joy is. They don’t want to take over or take away anything from your new baby experience – they merely want to enhance it. So I would like to say, Thank you, to the wonderful woman who for a few short months, made me smile with every visit.
34 Comments
To be honest with you, I think they are available if you need them. I saw mine once for the first official visit where she gave me the red book. And then nothing. We had many check up with my little one as he has a heart condition and any time there is nothing wrong, I go and see my GP #ablogginggoodtime
Yeah i agree. My gp is very over subscribed so it was nice to have someone else x
What a gorgeous post Hun! You were so lucky to have such a great experience like this. It would be lovely if your health visito read this! #ablogginggoodtime
I saw her one last time and gave her the link so I hope so x
Aww you had a gorgeous Health Visitor – I was lucky to have such a Fairy Godmother too – made the experience so much easier! Would be lovely if your HV could read this post one day – you must try and find where sh’e gone xx #ablogginggoodtime
I did manage to find her and gave her the link. I hope she read it xx
This made me feel a bit emotional! I’m expecting my first in November and it’s the complete unknown, so just hearing this story made me feel better about one aspect I was completely clueless about, I hope we get one just like yours! #ablogginggoodtime
Awww bless you. So glad i could help. I hope you do too. Its lovely and like an immediate close friend. If you’re not happy remember that you can ask to change too. Good luck xx
A really lovely post to put any new mum at ease. Having had 3 of the little darlings, I’ve seen many health visitors and most are as you describe with only one or two being what I would describe as ‘over-pushy’ on the great-feeding. I breast fed and was desperate to continue through various issues so that attitude didn’t bother me but I can see how some mums would feel under pressure if it wasn’t for them. In general these lovely ladies are fantastic and as you say, are there for you and you are coping as much as they are to check the baby xx #ablogginggoodtime
Thanks lovely. Yes I’ve heard some can be pushy but I have been so lucky x
So nice to read such a positive post, your health visitor sounded like a real gem. #ablogginggoodtime
She was wonderful x
Such a brilliant post to spread some much needed Health Visitor love. It’s great that you had such a lovely and supportive experience. I was like you and terrified of the prospect of being visited and “inspected”. In fact I was convinced that they were the baby police and were coming to take my little one off me (for having too much fluff stuck between her fingers or some other heinous motherhood crime that I was obviously committing). It’s so nice to hear what a fantastic resource health visitors are to a new parent, and not at all something to be nervous of. x #ablogginggoodtime
Thanks hun… that’s it exactly. Fear of the baby police which is so ridiculous xx
She sounds amazing, exactly what a new mum needs. Ours was so supportive too, especially when we found Archie wasn’t meeting his developmental milestones. Now we know he has Autism shes still involved making sure the right referrals are put in place & coming to our CAF meetings x #ablogginggoodtime
Oh thats awesome. Glad you got a good one too x
It’s so lovely to read something that completely bigs someone up, rather than puts them down. A great post and one that other new mums will draw on for positivity. Alison x #ablogginggoodtime
Thanks sweet. I think positivity is important x
What a lovely post! I was super surprised to find out that we would be seeing a health visitor when I adopted my 3 and 5 year old – it wasn’t even on my radar! I was as worried as you were, especially as we were still under social workers as well and everything felt like it was being judged, but she was so lovely! She only visited the once, but calls me every now and then to check I’m ok, how things are with the kids and if there is anything I want to talk about. It feels so great to have someone who feels as though they are on my side! Thanks for sharing your experience – isn’t it great when our fears turn out to be groundless! #ablogginggoodtime
Thats it isn’t it? Having someone on our side xx
This is lovely and I think it’s great to read a post in praise of a health visitor. Mine is really lovely too which I appreciated as my midwife changed jobs when I was 34 weeks so after that I saw a different one each time which wasn’t great post-partum. I haven’t seen her for ages though and I have a feeling there’s meant to be one around now…?! What a shame yours retired, but I am glad it was so positive in the early days as that makes such a difference. #ablogginggoodtime
Such a shame yes but we got all our major visits and a couple of extras cos bubba was prem which was lovely. She was such a comfort x
I loved this post – Health care as it should be. I’m so glad you had a supportive health visitor for those few months – she sounds lovely. #ablogginggoodtime
Awww thank you. She really was lovely xx
Awwww what a lovely post. I felt similarly over my former health nurse. #ablogginggoodtime
I was so very lucky x
You’re so lucky to have had such a positive experience. To be honest I had a great one to begin with but then we moved house and into a new catchment area (despite me semi-begging our HV to keep seeing us haha) and got a new one. She was awful, incredibly judgemental of a lot of aspects of how we were taking care of Emma. I felt pretty low at that point and only went to see them if I really needed to, which didn’t feel great. Thanks for hosting #ablogginggoodtime
I find its a fine line between Fairy Godmother and Vicki Pollard! We’ve experienced both extremes! When it works it’s great but when it doesn’t then it’s awful. As a new Mum everything is so overwhelming and it can feel tricky to request another HV. Our first with our Twins was so preoccupied with her dogs and crafts that she made no sense whatsoever and really just garbled on about the bloody dogs!!! Grrr! Haaa! #ablogginggoodtime
Oh no and with double trouble you c
Opps you could have done with fairy godmother x
Oh that is a nice to read that you had such a positive experience because they can be such a lifeline and assett. I have mostly had positive experiences with them and think they do a valuable job, other than my most recent encounter anyway… #ablogginggoodtime
Oh bless you. I am glad your experience has been mostly positive xx
She sounds lovely! How wonderful that she focused on you instead of the baby. I think that’s what we all need, and it’s so important for new mothers, especially. #ablogginggoodtime
Thanks sweet. Totally agree xx