Bullying & Betrayal: What the Hell Happened to Friendship?
28th May 2016
Getting Your Baby Snaps… A-TISH-SHOO!
28th May 2016

Troll Me… I Dare You!

Before I get started, I would like to state that this blog post is by no means an open invitation for people to “Troll” and leave nasty comments – however if you feel the need to get something off your chest freedom of speech and all that and hey with the size of my chest I could always do with getting something off of it!!

Now, you may have clicked through to this post thinking, “Okay, that’s it… she’s finally cracked and is asking for people to “Troll her”! I mean WTF?!” No, I am in fact not asking for that in the slightest but then no one ever does ask for it. There are tens of thousands of us living here in our

own part of blog world and whilst we share intimate details of our lives we generally mind our own business. If anything, from what I have observed of the blogging community, we reach out to praise, support and uplift each other whether we need it that day or not. I have a wonderfully supportive group of women (all women because I think the male species are currently too afraid of a group of 50 babbling women to have reached out to join us yet) known as “my tribe” who ironically enough I found via writing a blog post mockingly advertising for a group of friends – little did I know that I would find myself

up to my neck in love and support from these amazing women I am proud to say are now indeed my friends.

All but three of the women who are part of my community are bloggers and the three that aren’t still have a presence on social media and therefore, although marginally less than the bloggers, leave themselves open for trolling and criticism. I was having a private conversation with one member not so long ago, only to find out that she had experienced some horrible messages left on her blog posts for absolutely no reason. What was even worse was that the comments had no reasoning or foundation. Anyone choosing to read these comments after having read the blog post would have quickly discovered that the writer of the comments had

probably only got as far as reading the title and then jumped straight to their “Judging a book by it’s cover” comment.

I spoke to another blogging friend of mine, who received horrible and unnecessary comments for a blog post but, wait for it, not the writing but the cover image she had chosen to share and promote the post with on Twitter. My friend was told that she had not only spelt something wrong on the image but that one of the phrases on the image was a stereotypical judgement of a type of person and was in fact untrue and that facts should be checked first as they could be quite upsetting to people who would fall under said stereotype. However, had this person

bothered to read the post they were commenting on, they would have seen that the post was actually about fighting against lots of stereotypes and that actually the writer of the blog post shared the same feelings as the commenter on such topics.

I myself have been lucky enough not to come face to face with any negative comments towards my blog posts despite the somewhat controversial topics I choose to write about. However, I have been criticised for the way I manage my social media and in quite an open way which I personally found unnecessary and not a particularly nice

experience at all. The comments came from a non blogger who has no concept of how bloggers use social media to drive traffic and was honestly quite rude about it – I mean name calling? How old are we?! Not only did this person choose to criticise me, but half an hour later was over criticising a blogger of 6 years experience – hats off as that takes balls I guess… but why? What is the point?!

Now whilst none of these incidents were for extended periods of time, or involved overly outrageous comments towards us and our actions online, they do remind me of being back at school and the bullies that at some point or another 99% of us had to face. I would not necessarily call the acts I have described above “TROLLING” but surely that is how they start.  All of the incidents I mentioned were not founded on any real reason and as far as I can see, there was no need for them ever to have taken place.So why?! Why do people feel the need to put

other people down? If you have had a bad day, week, month, life then I truly am sorry but don’t reach out and take that out on someone who’s brave enough in the first place to even be attempting to have a voice in this big wide web. Do you know how much guts it takes to hit that publish button sometimes? Let me tell you it’s a lot. So rather than telling us we shouldn’t have bothered, say well done, say bravo and if you can’t do that then heed my own mother’s advice…. “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all!” When the comments I mentioned before were made to me, within seconds I had 49 not so happy tribal members messaging me to check I was okay and telling me not to listen and generally doing everything they could to make me feel better whilst restraining themselves from publicly commenting on the situation and probably worsening it.

So, here I am. This is MY blog and NOT yours. If I say something that truly and with great foundation offends you in anyway then please accept my apologies. However, if you come here merely because you are bored, or you’ve had a bad day or simply that the name Mummy in a Tutu pisses you off so you have come to textually spit all over my blog, I ask you to please STOP. THINK. MOVE ON! One reason being, I don’t know how long I can hold back those tribal ladies in order for you to make your escape. However, if you are really feeling brave…

Troll Me… I Dare You!

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25 Comments

  1. Brilliant! If I ever get a troll comment I’m calling you lovely! Joking aside though it’s a horrid thing to have gone through and well done you for tapping those keys again – that takes courage and that’s fighting spirit! I can’t imagine why someone would be unkind about someones post – it’s bullying after the playground #ablogginggoogdtime

  2. kris says:

    Ive only ever had one meany comment on my blog, i replied politely and moved on. I was recenetly sorting broken links on my page and hers came up… so i deleted the comment. It felt good. I didnt delete in the first place because everyone is entitled to an opinioun and sometimes it may not be nice or the same as me. I read your post becasue of the old skool pic of a troll 🙂 #ablogginggoodtime

  3. Wendy says:

    A brilliant post Katie, sorry to read you’ve had someone make stupid comments but glad you had all your tribe ladies backing you up. I see lots of trolling on Facebook and there really is no need for it, I’m sure half those people wouldn’t say the things they do if they didn’t have a computer screen to hide behind.xx #ablogginggoodtime

  4. Rach says:

    Trolls crack I up. I love the hypocrisy of them. I’ve had my fair share of trolls in my time and if I can’t be arsed to respond to them (which is rare), then I’ll hit the mute button as opposed to the block button. It’s like sticking your fingers in your ears when someone is talking to you and you don’t wanna list to the vitriolic that pours out their nasty gobs! #ablogginggoodtime

  5. Sonia says:

    ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’. Abso-blumin-lutely!! I really don’t understand these people, they must have such boring, unfulfilled lives to even have the time to write such hurtful rubbish! Luckily, I’ve not experienced it (yet) on the blog but I know if/ when it happens it will upset me even though I shouldn’t let it!! #ablogginggoodtime

  6. Petite Words says:

    Absolutely, gotta stop the hating. We all blog with love (well almost all) and I can’t think why/how people have the time to be haters! Clearly it comes from a monster within. Great post! #ablogginggoodtime

  7. Until I started blogging, I had no idea about the level of tolling that goes on, because I wasn’t on social media. Now I am so shocked the way in which people say whatever they like because they are hiding behind a screen: the ultimate in cowardice. I am yet to be trolled, but however thick your skin is, I’m sure it hits you where it hurts. Because, at the end of the day as you say: it’s our thoughts on our blog and no-one is forcing anyone to read it. I don’t think I’d cope well with a troll though – I was bad enough when a woman said that I use the f word too much in my blogs! Alison x #ablogginggoodtime

  8. LOVE this title of this post!

    You tell em mama!

    #ablogginggoodtime

  9. Great post, I don’t understand why people feel the need the troll, people really need to think before they say or post anything online, is it true, is it necessary and is it kind. I am fortunate not to have been trolled, and I’m so grateful for support and encouragement from the blogging community, especially when it’s so hard to write some things down. #ablogginggoodtime

  10. Brandi Puga says:

    I had a lot of trolling occur from a post i recently had published….The only thing i could do was NOT READ any comments….but that sucks too. Ugh, trolls suck. #ABlogginGoodTime

  11. Meg says:

    Love it! Screw the trolls! Really don’t understand the mindset behind putting someone down just for the sake of it … oh well … #ablogginggoodtime

  12. I LOVE this! What a brilliantly written post and I agree 100% with everything. I am always baffled that there are people out there who appear to take pleasure in bringing others down – it literally reminds me of ‘those’ girls at school who would do anything to make themselves feel better and if they could belittle someone else at the same time, it made them feel powerful!!! Awful then as a kid, and even worse now as adults when the Trolls should know better!!! Fab post! #abloggingoodtime

  13. Well said, I think it is fine to have aposing opinions but being personal attack is just rude and no need for it really. X #ablogginggoodtime

  14. Nicola says:

    I really find it hard to understand why people take the time to write hurtful and negative comments to anyone about anything! Who actually has the time for that?! When I first started blogging I had intended to vlog as well but the amount of abuse I know a lot of vloggers get I really didn’t want to expose myself or my family to that. Part of me thinks I should just say sod them and go for it anyway but you have to be a very strong character and it could just break me! For now I will hide behind the camera and write my feelings down instead! #ablogginggoodtime

  15. Lucy At Home says:

    Hehe I love that parting shot about holding back your tribe!

    I haven’t had deal with any trolls yet, but I’m dreading it when it does happen. I know I’m quite sensitive. I think you’ve handled it really well and I’m glad that it hasn’t put you off writing about the things you feel passionately about. #ABloggingGoodTime

  16. Well said!! I’ve found a few people I know outside of the blogging community have unfriended me on social media because of my posts but it’s what goes with the territory I suppose!
    I’ve not gotten any bad comments yet so I’m not sure how I’d cope with it!
    #ablogginggoodtime

  17. Jenny says:

    I hate trolls, I really don’t get it, why even bother? It’s especially annoying when, like your friend experienced, they didn’t even read the bloody thing!

    #ABloggingGoodTime

  18. Rhian Harris says:

    Eurgh they are so annoying. I recently RTd an article I thought was really interesting and well written, and had a tirade or trolls on my case. They need to get a life (or get laid)! #ablogginggoodtime

  19. Just imagine what the world would be like if we all managed to abide by the “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all”. I also am a firm believer in the don’t comment if you haven’t read the post rule! Hope you have a troll free week! best wishes. #ablogginggoodtime

  20. I agree with your mum. If it’s not nice keep it to yourself. In my very early days I had a couple of foul comments on my blog and to my email address. I pressed delete and installed a widget that requires all comments are approved before posting and a super duper spam filter which holds all troll emails. Touch wood recently I have been ok. #ablogginggoodtime

  21. I’m lucky to have never been trolled in my almost 5 years of blogging. I just don’t get it. If you’ve got nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut. Women should support and empower each other rather than tearing each other down!

    #ABloggingGoodTime

  22. Suzanne says:

    Great response. I’m lucky I haven’t been trolled yet but it does feel as though some people only read blogs to be offended. If I didn’t like something I’d just move on and not read the blog again. But hey some people like to spend their time leaving nasty comments.

  23. Dad says:

    1 – I love the name of your blog.
    2 – Thanks for having the guts to press the “publish” button. Never stop.
    3 – Your tribe sounds awesome!
    4 – If you ever get trolled again, just look back at all the positive comments right throughout your blog and remember that the vast majority of us think you are awesome!
    5 – #ablogginggoodtime

  24. I have never had any trolls comment on my post yet. No one forces people to read what we write so if people don’t have anything nice to say just keep it shut. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion but there are very many ways to put your point across without being rude or coming across as a D**k x #ablogginggoodtime

  25. Crummy Mummy says:

    I have been trolled before – often by people who haven’t read a post properly or chosen to focus on one thing and not the caveat to it…it’s their problem I say! #ablogginggoodtime

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