I’ve never been popular, I was never cool enough for that. In fact I was so uncool and unpopular that I was always quick to become the victim of bullying in most situations whether that be work or school. I don’t know what it was but I always seemed to laugh at the wrong moment (or at times laughing at all was just totally wrong), say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing. I’m not sure it would have mattered too much what I said or did, I was never ever going to be with the “in” crowd” that’s for sure. You know what though? That was okay. I had my little group of randoms, who didn’t quite fit into any social group so we all kind of ended up together. When I left school, I thought that all this kind of thing would end but of course then it happened again in University but after I thought well I’m a grown-up now, so this kind of shit is finally all behind me – guess again! Apparently even when you grow up this kind of crap still happens and will continue to happen until the day you die or until you completely lose it, blow your top at the culprits and give them something new and juicy to gossip about you instead. So quite frankly, I am a bit of an expert on making myself unpopular and it would seem the most recent way is by being what some people define as a success. So here I am, doing another “how to” post which people hate because no-one can know everything and I am not trained or qualified in “how tos” so I shouldn’t really be doing them but they bring in all the blog traffic so I do them anyway. How to: Be unpopular….
You may have picked up on a minor amount of sarcasm in my introduction and if you didn’t let me tell you… there was sarcasm. I don’t claim to be a success. I never have done. Other people tell me I am for various things because they love me, because they want to support me, because they genuinely think I am or because they wan
t to kiss my ass for some reason but whatever, it’s what they say. Most recently of all, I am considered a success because I am a working blogger. People ask me all the time how I managed it and other than saying I basically haven’t slept for 2 years and I work my bloody ass off and have no life whatsoever, I don’t know what to tell them.
Success is measured differently by each individual person. I see myself as successful from a blogging point of view in that it is my job, I am actively working and I am able to support myself and my daughter on my wage. I’m not rolling in money and some months are more difficult than others but I make
it work and secretly I am a teensy little bit proud of myself for managing to achieve what I set out to do which was work from home and be with my daughter to watch her grow.
Now recently, the blogging awards season has begun again and I wrote a post called “When You Feel Invisible” where I congratulated the finalists and encouraged the non-finalists not to feel invisible because awards are simply the cherry on top of the amazing ice-cream. I had some wonderful messages left for me as so many people related to the post and it was lovely to read. What hasn’t been very nice to see are the blog posts that have been appearing, the comments being left on social media and the all around black atmosphere that is slowly creeping in to the blogging world in general. It would seem that some people are seeing the success of others as their own personal failure rather than the good fortune and skill of the rising blogger.
The amount of posts I have read recently mocking successful bloggers is ridiculous and I just don’t get it. Yes, it is hard. No, I am sorry not everyone is going to be successful in making their blog their career but that doesn’t mean we should punish those who do manage it. I have talked a lot about becoming a blogger and right from the start I said I wouldn’t work when my daughter was awake and I don’t. I only ever write when she is out with someone else or asleep meaning I often work until the early hours of the morning, grab a few hours sleep and then begin the day again
with her. I am fortunate in a way that I do not have a partner begging for my attention also. However, it is all I do. I sleep. I work. I care for my daughter. I work. I sleep. I begin again. THAT is how I make it work.
I don’t buy myself lots of nice things. I make sure all our bills are paid, that Alyssa has everything she needs, that I have my bare minimum essentials and then the rest of my income (if
there is any more) goes on providing treats for my daughter or for her future. I am not living a luxurious life so maybe I am not the kind of success that these horrible blog posts are talking about. However, when reading posts where bloggers are openly and rather cruelly mocking bloggers who succeed, it is hard not to take it personally.
When I wrote my post about the awards the other day, I had one of the BiBs finalists message me thanking me for writing the post because it had cheered her up. I asked why on earth she needed cheering up when she had just been announced as a finalist and should be on cloud nine?! She responded that mere minutes after the finalists had been announced she was subjected to horrible blog bashing from other bloggers and cries of it all being a fix and a popularity contest and nothing else and how ridiculous the whole thing was – she hadn’t even asked for votes and yet she had made it as a finalist purely from people choosing to vote for her because they love her blog. I felt so sorry for her – I think her blog is absolutely amazing and her writing is something I aspire to and I was not surprised to see her on the finalists list even if she was. But how unfair to demean and ridicule something that only moments before had brought her such overwhelming joy and happiness.
Its not just with the awards season that bloggers are hating on other bloggers now its with everything. That blogger got a better opportunity than me. I never hear about any blogger jobs. That company give all their opportunities to the same bloggers each time. How does that blogger make any money, they’re crap! That blogger is lying they don’t make that much. They must have bought their followers. Have you seen their blog/their Instagram/ their feed -it’s just all so ugly – why would anyone like that?! Come on – really? It’s actually pathetic and it is really really not okay to keep mocking and putting other people down because you are unhappy with your situation.
I totally get that it is disappointing that your blog might not be where you want it to be yet or it may never even get there. Yes there is a small percentage of people who buy their followers and at some point they will be found out. Opportunities do come along but you shouldn’t sit their waiting – you should get off your complaining ass and go and find them as no one is going to do it for you. Can you please try to remember why you started writing your blog in the first place? Was it just to make money? If so then you should probably stop because if there is no heart in your blog it’s unlikely to do well. If it was because you liked writing then go back to that place where writing made you happy and just sit there for a while. It might happen. It might not but please for the love of God put the bitch back in the box and the next time you see someone succeed or do well sit down on the bloody green-eyed monster and congratulate them or wish them well. DON’T start another new Facebook thread or private chat or blog post complaining about them.It’s not fair. I’ve had my share of abuse, nasty comments, trolls and frenemies since I started blogging and I’ve had enough so cut it out. If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all.
How to be unpopular – just succeed!