What do Health Visitors ACTUALLY do?
We conceive the baby. We spend 9 months growing the baby (though mine only wanted to bake for 8). Then suddenly this brand new person appears as if from no where to share this brand new little person with you. No I am not talking about those random "friends" that appear from the past to ooo and ahh at the baby then disappear back where they came from (that's a post for a whole other time!) I am in fact talking about a species known as the "Health Visitor! "
To be fair, when I became pregnant, I wasn't even sure they still existed. Everything is so clinical these days, that I assumed I would be taking Alyssa to my doctors for check ups from a faceless locum doctor I have never seen before (because heaven forbid I get past the gestapo that is the surgery receptionist and see my own quite excellent doctor ) so imagine my surprise when I received a phone call informing me that the person I was speaking to was in fact my health visitor and that once my baby and I were home she'd be paying us a visit!
As I've mentioned before, in 'Alyssa's Arrival: SCBU and all' my little bundle was early and we had to spend 2 weeks in hospital. Unsurprisingly, I was quite shocked when one of my SCBU nurses turned to me and said "Oh, by the way your health visitor is my mum!" I had up until that point forgotten about the fact I had one, let alone that I would be seeing her soon. Instantly my mind went into overdrive; would they be discussing me? Would they be sharing things they thought I was doing wrong? Who is this woman anyway? To be honest, I really could have done without the pressure of having someone new coming into my life at a traumatic time when I just wanted to be able to cuddle my baby and be comfortable at home. But obviously, it's unavoidable. From the moment I left the hospital, the countdown began. The health visitor was coming.
I mean, what does a health visitor do anyway? I had visions of some busybody person arriving, whipping my baby out of arms, taking over, telling me everything I was doing wrong, everything I should be doing, harping on at me about breast is best, no co-sleeping, don't handle your baby too much blah blah blah blah! This was going to be an absolute bloody nightmare.
The morning she was due to arrive I dashed out of bed (which for someone with c-section stitches was not the best idea) and went around making sure everything was clean and tidy to within an inch of its life! Then I went and put on the first lot of make-up I'd worn since finding out I was pregnant. Not a huge amount, but enough to hide the fact that I was tired and upset from dealing with the complete and nasty break down of my relationship to The Ex-Dad! However, I did not want the health visitor to know that I was tired - My baby was happy, healthy, well-fed, I was breastfeeding, she was mostly sleeping in her moses basket... we were all good! Of course I had to get Alyssa ready too; thoroughly bathed that morning, even though she had only had a bath the night before, lavender oil rubbed into her skin and then the cutest, cleanest, most pristine outfit I could find (in fact I am pretty sure it still had the label on before this moment!) Okay, we were ready. A quick flash of nerves and insecurity passed across my mind and then the doorbell rang!
My mum went and opened the door as I sat on the sofa cradling Alyssa, wondering what fate was about to befall us. Then in walked, what I can only describe now, as my Fairy Godmother! This lovely lady, smile first, came bimbling into the room carrying all the gear they have to carry round, popped it on the floor, sat down and said hello. She looked so warm and friendly and actually looked at me when I was speaking and not just at the baby. Firstly, she asked me how I was?! I mean what the hell?! Didn't everyone only want to know about the baby???!! No, apparently not. Once she had a cup of tea and we had been speaking for a few minutes, it was at that point that she finally started to ask about Alyssa and how she was doing. Shockingly, she never in the whole time I have had a health visitor, asked to hold her or taken her from me....ever!
We had to weigh Alyssa and measure her growth (one of the things they ACTUALLY do) and it was me that undressed the baby, me that put her on the scales and me that redressed her. Of course, I actually offered her a cuddle if she would like one which of course she said yes to - but that's all it was, a cuddle with my cute little bundle.
What surprised me a lot was how much, apart from the measurements, she focused on me. This lovely, lovely lady came over, had a cup of tea and sat and chatted to me about anything and everything I wanted to. She made me feel like I was doing everything right because I was following my instincts. Within the first few seconds of meeting her, she had completely put me at ease. This dragon of a person I had been expecting, never materialised. Instead, as I said, I was sent a Fairy Godmother! She thought absolutely nothing of the fact that on her third visit I whipped out my boob to show her my nipple and how cracked and sore it was and asked for some advice! When Alyssa peed all over her hands during one of her first weigh-ins she merely laughed, washed her hands and got out some anti-bac gel. Rather than telling me what I should or shouldn't be doing she merely praised me for what I had done and how responsive I was to my daughter.
Another thing that I thought was excellent, was that she wrote down and told me where all the local baby and toddler groups were and also where our local children's centre was if I fancied taking any classes such as baby yoga or a breastfeeding class. When Alyssa had really bad nappy rash she made 'other' suggestions, she was not afraid of alternative therapies and although I never did, I just wanted to hug her each time and say thank you!
Sadly, she retired just after Alyssa's 4 month check-up and we haven't seen or heard from any health visitor since. We were told that a new one would call us and see us for a 6-8 month check-up but we are nearly at 8 months and I haven't heard anything which is a shame though I am not sure anyone could come close to the amazing lady I had before. So what does a health visitor ACTUALLY do? They offer support, advice, a friendly ear and generally oo and ahh at how adorable your new little bundle of joy is. They don't want to take over or take away anything from your new baby experience - they merely want to enhance it. So I would like to say, Thank you, to the wonderful woman who for a few short months, made me smile with every visit.
