You’re Trying to Kill Me…Aren’t you?!
20th May 2016
A SCBU Mummy’s Survival Kit
21st May 2016
Don’t get me wrong, when I was growing up, I certainly had some fun with my mum such as standing in the living room singing our heads off, watching her cheer for me and my sister at yet another majorette competition or simply climbing into bed with her and snuggling up ( and at the age of 30-something I am still doing this last one and with my daughter in tow as it’s our favourite place to be!) However, every mum has their choice phrases that they pull out at every opportune moment don’t they? Now, being a mother myself and listening to the things I come out with, am I turning into my own?!

Phrases I heard on a regular basis as a child were things such as; Its waTer not waugher – there is a T in the middle! I’m THE mummy! Because I say so! Be nice to your sister – you’re supposed to love each other!

It wasn’t that long ago in fact that she tried to use “I’m the mummy” again and I quite quickly rejoiced in being able to point out that I was also now a mummy. Her response, however, left me speechless “But I am THE mummy!” End of discussion.

Not only did my mum wish for us to speak correctly but she also enjoyed us looking immaculate and for a long time dressed us in identical outfits, something I am thankful to say she can no longer get awa

y with.

But it wasn’t just her children that she wanted to look well turned out but also her home and over the years, as we’ve grown up, has taken a lot of stick for her very particular tastes. She has a penchant for anything Laura Ashley, whenever possible would always prefer a finer brand, names her handbags with varying levels of “posh names” depending on the designer in question and was ribbed for months when she decided that aubergine and pewter was to be the colour scheme of our bathroom when I was 14 – a fact which is still occasionally mentioned. She put up with us taking the mickey and we begrudgingly put up with being corrected – and all I can say now 30 years later is 2 things;

1. Thank you for correcting me as its helped me no end in getting things I’ve wanted.

and

2. Oh dear god…. I think I’m turning into my mother!

My ability to speak correctly, and with no regional accent, enabled me to get a job teaching English in Sicily, Italy where I remained for 3 glorious years; the reason I got the job being the way my voice sounded during my phone interview so I was told. I also think, perhaps wrongly, that I have come across better in job interviews and professional situations all because of the way I have spoken and held myself. I have a collection of random qualifications, but it has to be said that when I went for Spray Tan training, I stuck out like a sore thumb, similar to seeing Julie Andrews trying to break dance.

a picture of alyssa at 5 weeks old asleep cuddling a bunny toy

As for turning into my mother, my previous comment is testament to this as unfortunately I feel that I may be turning into, or may in fact already be, a bit of a snob! I call my mum a snob in the nicest sense of the word, simply meaning that she has certain standards, and absolutely despairs at the way in which my brother speaks, as he often sounds like he has stepped out of an Eminem or 50 Cent music video. But the scary thing is, I think this may be happening to me. When around my brother and his girlfriend for long enough, I find myself automatically correcting his pronunciation when he drops letters from sentences and I find myself making instant judgements about people based on the way they speak, though luckily I also have the presence of mind to get to know their personalities too. Don’t get me wrong though, despite being a self proclaimed snob, my mum is also the first person to jump in and help anyone from any walk of life and would give her last pound to someone who said they needed italyssa as a newborn on my chest asleep with my mum stood next to me.

There is, however, one lesson that my mother taught me and taught well and one I hope that I have learnt and am able to pass on and that is to love unconditionally. We, as children all have our moments when we come close to breaking our parents hearts, but my mum has loved each and everyone of us, our own children included unconditionally and sacrificed so much to give us everything. For a lot of our lives she has been a single working mum, and when I was old enough to understand discovered she often went without quite a lot, including food, to make sure that we were okay. Yet despite doing things mostly on her own, there isn’t one assembly, show or sports day that she missed, even if she had to sit their in her nurses uniform using up her lunch hour. That doesn’t only make her my mum but my friend, and her knack for unconditional love is something I hope I have and aim to pass on.

In retrospect, I am not sure it is such a bad thing turning into my mother. My daughter boasts a wardrobe bigger than mine and thanks to “Nonna” always has an ironed array of dresses and outfits meaning she is immaculately turned out which gives me a sense of pride. Despite being surrounded by varying levels of elocution, I will endeavour to make sure that Alyssa learns to speak correctly as she grows up and surrounds herself with people that make her happy wherever they come from and whatever they do. Plus, I do not think there is a person in the world I could possibly love more than my daughter.

a picture of my mother and I when I was 5

I may be a single mum but I have had a good example of what I can achieve in this role. Therefore it does in fact look like I really am “My mother’s daughter!” but that’s okay by me.

13 Comments

  1. I am also my mother’s daughter #ablogginggoodtime

  2. I cracked up about the reference to way your brother speaks. Eminem lol! Love the piccy of you and your mum. I used to be the same regarding the way people speak and am ashamed to say I was a dreadful snob. Thankfully I’ve changed over the years (living in a Mediterranean country gives you no choice but to get used to hundreds of different accents) and most of my friends probably don’t speak with Received Pronunciation or whatever it’s called. Ultimately people are people and what defines us is our character really isn’t it? (And it sounds like your mum has a lovely one). Happy New Year love. Nice to be back on your lovely linky xx

  3. What a sweet tribute to your hard-working mum!

  4. Rosie Doal says:

    I think I am my mother! I find myself saying similar things to my kids that my mum said to me and my sisters. I find myself getting upset at my kids when my house is a mess (my mum likes the house to be immaculate). She speaks very openly and honestly – sometimes to the detriment of others’ feelings and is known for being ‘that woman who always has an issue with something’. I fear it’s too late for me (aaaaaarrrrrgh). Lovely pictures x #ABloggingGoodTime

  5. Laurie says:

    I think that every woman has that thought at one time or another – “I think I’m turning into my mother!” In my case, I have realized that there is no greater aspiration I could have. My mom was an exceptional woman!

  6. It is funny how we begin to see our mothers in ourselves isn’t it. This is a lovely tribute to your mum, sounds like she always made sure you felt her love and knew you were worthy of wonderful things, like you say it really isn’t bad if you turn out like her, Alyssa is a lucky little girl!

  7. Helena says:

    Little ones are like sponges and are quick to pick up on speech. I was brought up to not use colourful language too. #ablogginggoodtime

  8. Lovely pictures! This is a great post to read. Your mum brought you up well. I really miss my Mum so much. #ablogginggoodtime

  9. Tracey Carr says:

    I think we all turn into our mothers a little bit (or a big bit!), but I agree with you, overall that can only be regarded as a good thing if you have been brought up well. I am definitely like mine in ways but I am proud of that because she was a great role model in many many ways! #ablogginggoodtime

  10. I had to laugh with the ‘T’ in water – I say this all the time to my oldest. I think it is important to pronounce words correctly, things like that get noticed! #ABloggingGoodTime

  11. What a lovely testament to your mom, and coudl you two be any cuter in those matchy-matchy outfits! xoxo #ablogginggoodtime xoxo

  12. I think we all turn into our parents somewhat. Not all the way. We are, after all, individuals and no two human beings are the same but we do tend to develop certain traits of our parents that we bring into parenthood ourselves. That can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on our upbringing. Reading this I was reminded of a scene in one of my favorite 80’s movies, The Breakfast Club. They talk about turning into their parents. Ally Sheedy says no way and Molly Ringwald says, “it’s inevitable”. It’s a very interesting topic. #ABloggingGoodTime

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