#LuckyLinky Week 62
11th June 2018
#ABloggingGoodTime Week 95
14th June 2018
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Sometimes I look at my little girl and I wonder… where on earth has my baby gone?! I feel like I have blinked, and she has suddenly become a proper little girl as opposed to the baby and toddler I still see in my minds eye. It is scary how much she wants to do for herself and obviously incredibly frustrating for her when she is unable to do something because of her size, ability or because I say no.

I think it is a general consensus amongst a lot of parents that children are growing up too quickly and I don’t think industries such as the fashion and technology industries are particularly helping that much. I am frequently told how nicely my little girl is dressed and “congratulated” on the fact that she looks like a “nice little girl” or “as little girls should.” That is because I choose to dress her in age appropriate and relatively traditional clothing – not the latest sequin boob tube, denim mini-skirt or skimpy bikini that is shockingly available in a large number of toddler clothing departments.

I am the same with technology. I think with the way the world is today and where we are heading, it would be pretty stupid of me not to allow my daughter to look at and learn about technology, but I do have my limits!

a pair of hands holding a white tablet on the main screen is the time and a blue sky and green grass pictureShe did not use a tablet, ever, until the ripe old age of two and a half. She does now have an old one of mine as her own and she has educational learning apps to play with which she is a total whizz at. That is pretty much the extent of her use of technology, other than the TV which thanks to the fact it needs 2 remotes to operate, she hasn’t quite figured out… yet.

Of course, then comes the big one… mobile phones! She knows what one is as obviously I use mine A LOT for work (probably too much) and so she is aware of a lot of the capabilities. She is a fan of the TV show Go Jetters and at the end of each episode they take a “souvenir selfie” and of course as my little has already had fun with me taking selfies, she knows what one is and now asks to take them too!

However, I DO NOT want my daughter growing up, being obsessed by taking the latest and greatest selfie. It’s a fine line to tread – I don’t want what I do to make her appear “uncool” to other children as I know what it’s like to be bullied. My mum did nothing to help that happen, I just wasn’t a “cool” kind of child. However, I also do not want to give in to the peer pressure of giving her something like a mobile phone before I think she is ready or before I’ve had chance to brush on up on the latest safety advice – this guide from Tiger Mobiles looks like a very good starting point.

In my own head, I am thinking she will probably get a basic phone from me around the age of 10. If things continue with her dancing, she is likely to go to competitions etc and to training so it will be important for her to be able to make contact. However, this isn’t set in stone. If I don’t think she is mature enough I’d like to believe I won’t give in and get her one but again… it’s that fine line of being the same as all the other kids.

alyssa playing at a water table in a yellow dress and summer hat smiling at the camera

For now, I am happy to allow her to use the tablet and learn and grow with it. I do limit the amount of time she can spend on it and for her age I think we are doing okay. The future… well that just scares the bejesus out of me – and that’s without even considering when I’d let her on social media! Currently, I am going to be content with placing my head firmly in the sand about the whole thing and coming back to it at hopefully a much later date.

What about you – when do you think it’s okay to give them a mobile phone?! How young is too young?

*This is a collaborative post.

14 Comments

  1. 10 is always the age that I have in my head, maybe even a little older depending on how J ends up getting to school. I just don’t see why they need them before that. But as you rightfully say there is a fine line to stop the bullying and allow them to join in with their friends at school. Such a tough decision. Also horrified that sequinned boob tubes exist for toddlers.

  2. Fran Taylor says:

    I hate tablets but we all have deadlines right?! As long as it’s limited they’re not getting into unsuitable things I reckon it’s OK!

  3. This last week we bought my 28 month old her first tablet. I was fed up of her stealing my phone! She learns loads through the interactive apps.

  4. When there teenagers, I just don’t understand why children need mobile phones, who are they calling? I was 14 when I had my first phone. I just don’t want them growing old before they have to like you said, why can’t they stay babies forever 😩😩 #ablogginggoodtime

  5. My poor teenager was probably the last of all her friends to get a phone. She just turned 14 in May and we surprised her by finally giving her a phone. She is actually very mature so it wasn’t that I didn’t trust her, it was more about wanting her to acknowledge the cost and respecting the fact that we have to pay for her bill, and also wanting her to understand that in life we don’t get everything we want straight away. Needless to say she is so happy with her phone. She already had a iPad as she needed that for school, so she good message friends via that when at home and connected to our home wifi. It is hard finding the right balance between ‘fitting in’ and also not letting them grow up too fast. My 11 year old doesn’t have a phone and hasn’t asked (I guess because she would no we would say no) she has an iPod that she can play games on and music. My son is eight, all he cares about is playing his Nintendo Switch, or Nerf gun battles with his friends. Anyway I tend to ramble on, but I think it is up to you and you know your child best. I do agree that if they are in a situation where they need to get in touch with us then it can be important to have a phone at a younger age.

  6. Candace says:

    It really changes the minute they start school, they really do age quite quickly especially girls. Hang on to these moments as much as you can

  7. Tubbs says:

    The Tubblet didn’t get a phone until she started secondary school and had to travel to and from on the bus by herself. Having the phone means she can contact us when there are problems so Rev T can go and collect her. We take it off her at night and try to minimize the amount of time she spends on it. (With varying degrees of success).

    It’s a hard one to call. Some children seem to be able to take or leave them while others are obsessed with the things!

  8. I’m a dinosaur from another era, but I do agree with you that we should hold off on technology as long as we can and still be practical about it. It’s so all consuming, and there are many MANY other glorious objects for the eyes and the brain that kids will miss if they are glued to a screen. For my kids, boredom was one of the most amazing instigators of creativity. Sometimes kids need to sit with a quiet brain.
    Okay, that’s the end of this dinosaur diatribe!

  9. I think it’s very hard to frame these things in the abstract, ie before they arrive. I think no-one will no better than you what is appropriate for your child at any given stage. And no matter what the child says re “everyone else is doing so so why can’t I?” Not a great yardstick that!!! #ablogginggoodtime

  10. Honestly I don’t know when but if I give my daughter a phone it would be the basic one too for when she needs to call me that’s it. So hard to think about them growing up so quickly. #ablogginggoodtime

  11. crummymummy1 says:

    Our older two got tablets last Christmas for the first time aged six and three – I think that age is about right for us. I don’t actually know what I’d do without them! #ablogginggoodtime

  12. I agree with you! I don’t have a daughter but I get really irritated with clothing companies who seem hell-bent on dressing babies and toddlers like adults. It’s absurd! As for technology, the TV was always on when the kids were small (ironically, none of us really watch TV anymore as we are a family of gamers) but iPads, phones, and such were not a part of their lives until the pre-school years. iPads were acceptable because of the educational apps. I don’t agree with giving small children their own cell phones. For one, they are really expensive and small children don’t quite understand that concept or to take care of their things. My oldest didn’t get his first cell phone until he was 13 and while my youngest has an iPod that he can call us on when he’s on wifi, he doesn’t take it to school with him (like most of his friends do apparently) and he will not get an actual phone until he is 13 and more responsible. He does good with his iPod but still. I also really want to wait to have to pay that bill too lol. #ABloggingGoodTime

  13. Kate says:

    Individual things for individual children is pretty much my mantra regarding age appropriateness. With my step-daughter I was so against her having a phone in school but that is a very long time ago now and now she has her own school children and is working out her own boundaries. With tech, I guess it is there and just as our parents or grandparents would have been with computers generally or television or even radio back in the day, we learn as we live and are threatened always by new tech when it comes to our children’s safety and wellbeing. I don’t like the amount of time my children spend with screens but then again it is the way of the modern world. I have found talking openly and honestly and instilling great values in my children has served me well so far. By the way I am rubbish at all the other parenting stuff. You will find your way with her when the time is right with all these challenges #Ablogginggoodtime

  14. It really depends on the child and your judgment #ablogginggoodtime

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