But What If I Jinx It?

Okay, so we  are told that as we get older us girls often become more like our mums, and as I have already said in “My Mother’s Daughter”for me personally, that’s okay as i become a mini me version of mine.  I really feel this has been more pronounced since I had my gorgeous bubba Alyssa but there is another odd, and sometimes worrying effect having her has made.

Everyday we see headlines in the papers or on the news that are alarmist, sensational and sometimes heartbreaking.  For me it is this last category that I find so hard if not impossible to read. I used to be able to read and process sensibly all manner of news; wars, natural disasters, politics etc and while saddened by them there was always a sense of distance I guess. Now however there is a category of story that I just cannot read without fear gripping my heart , and tears filling my eyes. Children.

Whether, lost, run away, taken, abused or worse I find myself identifying with the parents involved.  How would they  feel, how do they keep breathing, keep putting one foot in front of another, keep that spark of hope in their hearts for a happy ending. The mere thought of something happening to my precious girl leaves me breathless and  whispering to a higher power, wherever they may be, to please keep her safe, please don’t let me be one of the poor unfortunates. When I wrote about “The Day She Almost Died” I remember thinking, when I was watching her choke through the glass door, “I knew she was too good to be true!” I had waited my whole life for my little girl to arrive and I genuinely thought she was going to be taken from me that day.

The thing I don’t understand though is this… In these days of social media, where we have access to every snippet of information , news or gossip, why oh why do people insist on blaming or condemning the parents?! Now I

know in some cases that the parents are indeed to blame if they have actually abused or killed their child. I can in no way understand these people who knowingly and with forethought cause harm or worse. After all as a mummy or daddy our job is to love, cherish, protect and provide for our little ones.The people I am talking about are those that immediately comment on news article posts from Facebook etc. before any of the facts are known sometimes. That “the mother was wrong”,” How dare they”,”Should be hung”, Should be shot,” shouldn’t be allowed children”, etc etc when they are talking about the parents of a child that may have drowned, undone a seat belt, slipped from a grasp in a crowded shopping centre or any of the many other ways that little ones can come to harm. Don’t they think that the parents are distraught enough? Don’t they think these parents will blame themselves until the day they die? What makes them so perfect? Have they never ever made a mistake when parenting?

The way I see it, we are only human, (yes yes I do TRY to be supermum) but we are unfortunately fallible. Stress, worry, fear, unhappiness and exhaustion and even feeling safe leading to complacency,  can make us take our eye off the ball for a split second and bam. The universe strikes back.

So if and when I do read these articles and I see the judgemental comments made by the thousands that have read before me, I think “ How do YOU dare?” How do you know it wont happen to you? I cannot guarantee that nothing will ever happen to my precious baby girl and whilst I silentlt watch these people judging the unfortunate circumstances of others, I know that I will never choose to pass judgement. Why? Because, and this may sound silly… But what if I jinx it?