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21st May 2016
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21st May 2016

10 Things I Didn’t Do Before Having A Baby

Did you find that when you had a baby not only did your whole world change, but you changed too? I mean I was always a little cooky, a complete ditz and my sanity was sometimes questionable… but now?! Honestly surprised that my family hasn’t had me sectioned on occasion. Reason for this? Well, my bubba appears to have transformed me into this weird mummy-being who at times internally looks at herself and even says out loud “What the hell are you doing/talking about?” I noticed this a while back and decided to make a list (because in case you hadn’t guessed I bloody love lists!!) about all the things I never did/had before becoming a mummy.

1. Sang about poop… or in fact sung about anything and everything in an attempt to keep the little bubba happy whilst I am performing whatever task I must! For example… using the tune of Old Macdonald had a Farm, sing as follows: “Little Lyssy did a poop, poopy poopy poop! And little Lyssy’s stinky poop, was a little green! With a wipe wipe here, and some cream cream there, here a wipe there some cream, mummy is about to scream! Little Lyssy did a poop, poopy poopy poop!” This is all done whilst maintaining some weird clown like grin on my face! Family members have appeared at the door before and the general response is… “What the hell are you on?!” That would be lack of sleep coupled with a healthy dose of I need a bath!

2. Turned into a Ninja… I used to dance so knew I had some flexibility but I have amazed even myself at the way in which i am able to bend and manipulate my body in order to avoid creaky floorboards, hanging objects or infact anything that will make a noise bigger than silence in order to not disturb the sleeping bubba! Whoa betide any human or animal that dares to squeak!

3. Domestic Semi-Goddess… I never knew how quickly I could move my way through the house doing housework. I have now mastered the act of getting everything I need to get done finished in approx. 30 minutes! Of course, by everything, I mean anything that is noticeable should someone pop in unannounced! By done, I mean so that you wouldn’t noticed that it hadn’t been touched (like dust arouuuunnnnddd the vases!)

4. Me, Myself and I… Apparently, when you become a mummy, you must refer to yourself constantly in the 3rd person when it comes to your child. For example “Ooo excuse the mamma, what did she do?” or “Are you talking to the mamma? Are you?” I also find myself repeating the same lines or phrases over and over. So much so in fact that family members now mimic me… awesome!

5. Plan Plan Plan… I have always been a planner, I like to know what I am doing, where I am going or supposed to be at what time. So I am kind of in my element when going out with a baby because I find that I plan outtings the day before, with military precision and a check list in my head to make sure I remember everything! Nappies, bibs, food, change of clothes, baby….

6. Excitement… I find that the days tend to roll into each other, especially in the early months of having a baby and soon you find a week has gone by and you haven’t left the house or engaged in much adult conversation at all. So now, I can’t quite believe it, but I do actually consider a trip to Tescos quite exciting! I am out in society where, even if it is a simple nod or smile, I interact with people. Then there is the small chance that I will get one of the nice checkout assistants who doesn’t completely hate their job, who engages me in actual conversation!! (Granted this is normally about the cute baby with me… but still!)

7. A collection…. Far enough away and I look reasonably presentable most of the time. However, the closer you get the more you can see the collection of foreign substances I am putting together on my clothes and body. These range from; poo, wee, puke, snot, bogies, milk, vegetables, fruit, 2 drips of the precious 3 sips of coffee I had, a couple of smudges of whatever I managed to ram down my throat in the way of food, sudocrem and more! I have also just added olbas oil and snuffle baby to my collection thanks to bubba’s cold!

 8. New Perfume… no no I do not in fact have a new perfume. I rarely ever wear any perfume and the reason is I have no further use for it. I have a new natural odour which is so individual and unique and pungent that it beats out all other brands. Its name is “Eau de Puke!” If you’d like to smell as good as me please feel free to ask my daughter where she gets the mass quantities she seems to ply me with… or I’m happy to share!

9. Hello?… as I have said before, days kind of roll into each other and soon yet another day, week or month has flown by. Therefore, I now generally consider social media as my main source of contact to the outside world. This is incredibly sad I know but let me just say… THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Thanks to all of you for being out there and sometimes responding too!

10. And… I have never felt more amazing in my entire life. Despite the stains on my clothes, the new odour and the often lengthy spells of no contact or lack of sleep, I did not realise how much I could love and adore my little tiny person. Being a mummy ROCKS!

 So come on, what new experiences have you had since becoming a parental??


  1. Rhian Harris says:

    I can totally relate to a lot of these but especially that we now refer to ourselves as ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’. I try to get myself out of the habit as much as possible as it drives me insane when other people do it! Must try harder! #ablogginggoodtime

  2. Darling, I’m coming over – i’ll take alyssa out for a walk while you hop in the shower and I’ll pick up some lunch and pop back for some adult chat where you can start a sentence with “I” instead of “Mamma!” You need it! It does change though, lovely, as children get older – it has to otherwise we’d all go totally mad! #ablogginggoodtime xx

  3. Haha I was saying to my partner the other day “at what point will I stop referring to myself in the third person”. He couldn’t answer as he still does it now and his children are 6 and 8. Great post!

  4. I can really relate to a lot of these!! Especially the collection of substances…..and the fact that I love all of it! I found baby groups that I loved to make sure I got out and had adult conversation!! #ablogginggoodtime

  5. Petite Words says:

    Love this post so so much! Go ninja mama go!

  6. Sonia says:

    Never standing still! Since becoming a mamma I have a ‘mamma sway’, the one you do constantly when holding a baby! I still find myself swaying from side to side even though my youngest is now 5!! Funny post!! xx #ablogginggoodtime

  7. From Day Dot says:

    I started reading this thinking it would be like a bucket list of things to do before the baby comes, which I won’t have the time to do again when they arrive. But no! It’s everything I have to look forward to, and I won’t be trying any of this pre-baby, it can wait until they arrive!! #ablogginggoodtime x

  8. So funny…it makes it so much more fun to sing about poop doesn’t it! We have s lovely poo poo on the potty song and dance here too 🙂

  9. I totally get this – especially talking about myself in the third person. I find I do it in front of other people’s children too though and have quite frequently said “Mummy will just go and grab…” before realising that the child I’m talking to isn’t even my own? Oops! Thanks for hosting #ablogginggoodtime x

  10. Can definitely relate to lots of these – ninja moves and talking in the third person especially. V.funny! #ablogginggoodtime

  11. Love your final point! I can so relate to this list – especially the singing random songs (we have songs for getting dried after a bath, changing a nappy – pretty much anything that happens during the day!) I also end up referring to myself in the third person all the time. Being a mummy is amazing though even if it does make you do some crazy things 🙂 #ablogginggoodtime

  12. four kids in nine years- sooooo many. I sing a lot of Daddy Finger with the twins these days and watch U Tube videos of random kids opening surprise eggs.


  13. Helen says:

    Great post – so much changes when you become a parent! #ablogginggoodtime

    Helen x


  14. Michelle says:

    When my boys were small, I was surprised at how quickly I could hop out of bed and run to their room over the slightest noise. I was kind of paranoid when I was a new mom so I did that a lot. I’ve always loved to sing but I went from blasting hard rock music in my car to blasting “the wheels on the bus” and singing it loud and proud, LOL! Thankfully, because my boys are 14 and 9 I can go back to listening to my hard rock again! It does get easier to come back to yourself as they get older. However, I do still find myself referring to myself in the third person. I am hopeful that will go away someday:) Thanks so much for hosting #ablogginggoodtime

  15. I can relate to every single one of these, especially the third person and ninja moves. That picture of the two of you is gorgeous, such a little cutie x
    #Ablogginggoodtime #FamilyFun

  16. Tammymum says:

    Yes being mummy does rock! I never used to talk about myself in the third person now I am all mummy do it for your mummy get it blah blah blah. It’s so weird isn’t it I don’t even know why we do it, I’m sure they could understand I’ll do it, I’ll get it etc. Weird eh xx #ablogginggoodtime

  17. I know what you mean about number 9. Social media is EVERYTHING and keeps me sane!
    I love “eau de puke”, but I can’t accept it and have to layer perfume on top of it lol i probably smell worse! #ablogginggoodtime

  18. Helen needham says:

    Being a mum definitely rocks #aBloggingGoodTime

  19. It is strange the things I find myself doing and saying now! #ablogginggoodtime

  20. Catherine says:

    I can definitely relate to these, why do I refer to myself as mummy all the time?! Is mummy going to be cross that you are thowing sand across the living room? (answer is yes, Little R does not care.) #ablogginggoodtime

  21. Helena says:

    I think you would like Nick Cope’s work ‘The Baby’s Done a Poo’. Many toddlers love his work in this county too. #ablogginggoodtime

  22. “Eau de Puke!” actually made me LOL 🙂 I also seem to have turned into a ninja since I became a parent in fact I have even managed to pick up some new ninja moves since number 2 came along. #ablogginggoodtime

  23. Crummy Mummy says:

    Pre baby I couldn’t stand anyone referring to themself in the third person but since becoming a mum I’ve realised it’s unavoidable! #ablogginggoodtime

  24. Laura says:

    I love this! Why do with refer to ourselves in the third person to our kids lol? #ablogginggoodtime

  25. Love it! Being a Mummy does totally rock!! Another great post from you! Loving your work! #ablogginggoodtime