#ABloggingGooodTime Week 55
29th June 2017
Top Ten Veggie Recipes for Summer!
30th June 2017

Success & Other Ways to be Unpopular!

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestyoutubetumblrinstagram
I’ve never been popular, I was never cool enough for that. In fact I was so uncool and unpopular that I was always quick to become the victim of bullying in most situations whether that be work or school. I don’t know what it was but I always seemed to laugh at the wrong moment (or at times laughing at all was just totally wrong), say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing. I’m not sure it would have mattered too much what I said or did, I was never ever going to be with the “in” crowd” that’s for sure. You know what though? That was okay. I had my little group of randoms, who didn’t quite fit into any social group so we all kind of ended up together. When I left school, I thought that all this kind of thing would end but of course then it happened again in University but after I thought well I’m a grown-up now, so this kind of shit is finally all behind me – guess again! Apparently even when you grow up this kind of crap still happens and will continue to happen until the day you die or until you completely lose it, blow your top at the culprits and give them something new and juicy to gossip about you instead. So quite frankly, I am a bit of an expert on making myself unpopular and it would seem the most recent way is by being what some people define as a success. So here I am, doing another “how to” post which people hate because no-one can know everything and I am not trained or qualified in “how tos” so I shouldn’t really be doing them but they bring in all the blog traffic so I do them anyway. How to: Be unpopular….

shot from above, a womans legs on a grey bed, wearing dark leggings, bare feet, with a silver laptop and one of her hands on the mouse pad

You may have picked up on a minor amount of  sarcasm in my introduction and if you didn’t let me tell you… there was sarcasm. I don’t claim to be a success. I never have done. Other people tell me I am for various things because they love me, because they want to support me, because they genuinely think I am or because they wan

t to kiss my ass for some reason but whatever, it’s what they say. Most recently of all, I am considered a success because I am a working blogger. People ask me all the time how I managed it and other than saying I basically haven’t slept for 2 years and I work my bloody ass off and have no life whatsoever, I don’t know what to tell them.

Success is measured differently by each individual person. I see myself as successful from a blogging point of view in that it is my job, I am actively working and I am able to support myself and my daughter on my wage. I’m not rolling in money and some months are more difficult than others but I make

woman's shoulder with superwoman written on it

it work and secretly I am a teensy little bit proud of myself for managing to achieve what I set out to do which was work from home and be with my daughter to watch her grow.

Now recently, the blogging awards season has begun again and I wrote a post called “When You Feel Invisible” where I congratulated the finalists and encouraged the non-finalists not to feel invisible because awards are simply the cherry on top of the amazing ice-cream. I had some wonderful messages left for me as so many people related to the post and it was lovely to read. What hasn’t been very nice to see are the blog posts that have been appearing, the comments being left on social media and the all around black atmosphere that is slowly creeping in to the blogging world in general. It would seem that some people are seeing the success of others as their own personal failure rather than the good fortune and skill of the rising blogger.

woman laptop work blog coffee computer phone

 

The amount of posts I have read recently mocking successful bloggers is ridiculous and I just don’t get it. Yes, it is hard. No, I am sorry not everyone is going to be successful in making their blog their career but that doesn’t mean we should punish those who do manage it. I have talked a lot about becoming a blogger and right from the start I said I wouldn’t work when my daughter was awake and I don’t. I only ever write when she is out with someone else or asleep meaning I often work until the early hours of the morning, grab a few hours sleep and then begin the day again

 

woman with her head in her hands cryingwith her. I am fortunate in a way that I do not have a partner begging for my attention also. However, it is all I do. I sleep. I work. I care for my daughter. I work. I sleep. I begin again. THAT is how I make it work.

 

I don’t buy myself lots of nice things. I make sure all our bills are paid, that Alyssa has everything she needs, that I have my bare minimum essentials and then the rest of my income (if

a typewriter glasses and notepad on wood with the series title in the middle

there is any more) goes on providing treats for my daughter or for her future. I am not living a luxurious life so maybe I am not the kind of success that these horrible blog posts are talking about. However, when reading posts where bloggers are openly and rather cruelly mocking bloggers who succeed, it is hard not to take it personally.

 

When I wrote my post about the awards the other day, I had one of the BiBs finalists message me thanking me for writing the post because it had cheered her up. I asked why on earth she needed cheering up when she had just been announced as a finalist and should be on cloud nine?! She responded that mere minutes after the finalists had been announced she was subjected to horrible blog bashing from other bloggers and cries of it all being a fix and a popularity contest and nothing else and how ridiculous the whole thing was – she hadn’t even asked for votes and yet she had made it as a finalist purely from people choosing to vote for her because they love her blog. I felt so sorry for her – I think her blog is absolutely amazing and her writing is something I aspire to and I was not surprised to see her on the finalists list even if she was. But how unfair to demean and ridicule something that only moments before had brought her such overwhelming joy and happiness. woman sat typing on a laptp

Its not just with the awards season that bloggers are hating on other bloggers now its with everything. That blogger got a better opportunity than me. I never hear about any blogger jobs. That company give all their opportunities to the same bloggers each time. How does that blogger make any money, they’re crap! That blogger is lying they don’t make that much. They must have bought their followers. Have you seen their blog/their Instagram/ their feed -it’s just all so ugly – why would anyone like that?! Come on – really? It’s actually pathetic and it is really really not okay to keep mocking and putting other people down because you are unhappy with your situation.

I totally get that it is disappointing that your blog might not be where you want it to be yet or it may never even get there. Yes there is a small percentage of people who buy their followers and at some point they will be found out. Opportunities do come along but you shouldn’t sit their waiting – you should get off your complaining ass and go and find them as no one is going to do it for you. Can you please try to remember why you started writing your blog in the first place? Was it just to make money? If so then you should probably stop because if there is no heart in your blog it’s unlikely to do well. If it was because you liked writing then go back to that place where writing made you happy and just sit there for a while. It might happen. It might not but please for the love of God put the bitch back in the box and the next time you see someone succeed or do well sit down on the bloody green-eyed monster and congratulate them or wish them well. DON’T start another new Facebook thread or private chat or blog post complaining about them.It’s not fair. I’ve had my share of abuse, nasty comments, trolls and frenemies since I started blogging and I’ve had enough so cut it out. If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all.

How to be unpopular – just succeed!

 

23 Comments

  1. I know how hard you’ve worked to get where you are, and I’m sorry people have tried to make you feel bad about your success. The blogging world can be hard – there are thousands of bloggers and only so many opportunities/followers to go around – so I see why people get frustrated. But that shouldn’t take away from any success that you – or any other working blogger – has achieved. #ablogginggoodtime

  2. And so you should be proud of your acheivement, it must have been tough, but you have got to a point where you can now support your family and see your daughter grow up. That’s success in my eyes.

  3. Love this post. I am a BiB’s finalist this year and saw so many tweets about it being all about the numbers, and that you shouldn’t ‘act’ surprised. It honestly took something away from an achievement I should be proud of. Because I can tell you if it was all about the numbers, I wouldn’t be there, and I was genuinely really surprised. We should all celebrate achieve others successes, big and small.

    • Mummy in a Tutu says:

      exactly. don’t let it take away! Scream it from the roof tops if you like. congratulations and good luck xx

  4. So sad… it’s not the first time I’ve read this type of thing and seen it happen to some fellow bloggers. Yes it’s good to want to be successful but its sad when you can’t be happy for the success of others. #abloggingoodtime

  5. I know why I started my blog – it was because I love to write and it’s great to engage with people in a hobby you enjoy. My instagram is my love of photography. I don’t make a penny. I do it as a hobby. I don’t know what SEO is or DA and I’ve never pretended that I do. I have never bought followers either. I’m happy in myself and don’t want for more. I’m shocked that people can be so bitter. It’s unkind. Long may the bloggers who are genuine continue to do what they do because I can see that some could stop if they felt there were people being unkind behind the scenes. Life is too short, seriously too short xx I don’t know where I’ve been but I missed all this chat after the awards release and thank goodness! Rant over xx #ablogginggoodtime

  6. I have never been one to go in for blogging awards, I don’t put myself forward for them ever. However I’m also not one who would bash someone else for doing well. I believe that their success could one day be my success, I learn from them, I listen and watch. It’s all you can do, and if you’re not willing to put the effort in to be a success then you have no right to complain when you’re not.
    This is such a great post Katie, well done for writing it. xxx
    #ablogginggoodtime

  7. How sad that some bloggers are bashing other ones. Thankfully I have not seem or been subjected to it yet. Jealousy is a terrible thing. #ablogginggoodtime

  8. Samsam Said says:

    Loved reading every word,sometimes every blogger needs to remember why they started. it was never for money or awards. it’s important to be kind in person and online I guess award season can bring the worst in others unfortunately #ablogginggoodtime

  9. Lucy At Home says:

    Well said! It’s awful that successful bloggers (or successful anybody’s) are made to feel ashamed of their work or have their achievements undermined. It can be frustrating when you feel overlooked or undervalued, but it’s not the fault of those who HAVE succeeded. #ablogginggoodtime

  10. It’s such a shame that people have to be like that, I think they are probably hugely jealous, and often people think that success is something which is just going to happen, but you have to work hard. I think that it is great to be recognised for achieving something, we are often better at criticising people instead of encouraging and supporting them. xx #ablogginggoodtime

  11. Lexie says:

    It’s too bad that so many people are so unsupportive! Especially when it comes to something like blogging where there is no limit to the amount of people who can succeed at it! Helping each other out does nothing by good. We make friends and connections as well as encouraging others to be able to succeed.
    Thanks for sharing this honest look at success. The bashing just seems immature and ridiculous to me. :-/

  12. Liz Deacle says:

    Thank you for being so honest. I think youre in for that award because you deserve it. Simple as that. Ignore the jealous comments. Theyll still be in the same place in months to come while all your hard work with be worth it. Good luck! x
    #GlobalBlogging

  13. Liz Deacle says:

    sorry! supposed to say #abloggingoodtime
    !!

  14. I think it is sad if people are being horrible because they are bitter or whatever, I agree the most successful people are the ones who are just happy inside but it is the most hardest lesson to learn in life, I think anyway X #ablogginggoodtime

  15. I don’t understand all the bitchiness, we should be boosting each other up and celebrating each other’s successes not tearing each other down and belittling achievements. Thankfully I haven’t experienced any bitchiness but I guess it’s just because I’m not successful yet 😂
    #ablogginggoodtime

  16. This is a great post Katie. I have to say I’ve really struggled with how competitive the mummy blogging industry is (I was clueless before, should have done better research, haha) but I have never mocked anyone or been bitchy about their success. I’m more in awe of them and like someone else said, I just want to watch (read: stalk them) and learn what they do and hope that one day I could get there. And I’ve been a big fan of yours for the past year and can tell how hard you work and how bloody knackered you must be working these hours and looking after your daughter. Don’t ever let anyone try to make you feel bad for working so hard and being a success because of that xx

  17. Helena says:

    It sounds like the school playground never truly goes away! #ablogginggoodtime

  18. Love this! I have girls at work saying they wish they had my life and that I’m successful due to what I get through my blog and I suppose yes I can see where they’re coming from, but I’m only just starting to earn. its not guaranteed so I still work 8-6 4 days a week with only 45 minutes lunch. I blog on the bus to and from work. straight through my lunch and mostly from 8-1o every night also. yes I am getting places in my blog, no its not as good as I want to be, but I know hard work pays off and from where I was six months ago to now – thats a big difference.
    I barely see my child due to needing to work to pay bills – the grass isn’t always greener but not all green-eyed bloggers realise this!!
    Patience is a virtue and I have that… oh and yes my lay out looks pretty awful – I know this but Id rather work on my content right now than my appearance… until I get the spare cash to pay someone to fix it for me hahaha! #ablogginggoodtime

  19. It’s a bad attitude that you’re right to call people out on. We shouldn’t be annoyed at people who succeed through their own hard work #ablogginggoodtime

  20. Crummy Mummy says:

    I’m not sure where I’ve been but I haven’t seen or read any of these blog posts! Sounds like they say more about the blogger writing them than anyone else… #ablogginggoodtime

  21. Kay says:

    Ah. Jealousy! I can’t believe the amount of bashing that does go off – I feel like I’m back in my day job (teaching!) x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *