One Armed Bandit: Things you Never Knew You Could do One-Handed

This week I have had a baby with a stomach bug (god knows how she got that) combined with a baby who is also teething! Needless to say this has not been an easy week and I have had to work out how to do a lot of things with just one arm whilst cradling a baby in another…

I never knew how much of a luxury it was being able to use both my hands… AT THE SAME TIME. I mean I think I actually took it for granted. However, since becoming a mummy, I have had to learn not only how to juggle but to do a myriad of things one handed, whilst holding Alyssa and at the same time as breastfeeding, doing the washing, loading the dishwasher cooking the dinner and removing sick from my 5th t-shirt of the day (and sometimes it feels as if I am trying to do all of these at the same time.) I have amazed myself that in some circumstances I am able to bend and balance that way even if I cannot return to a normal position for a good half an hour after. So here it is, a list of things I never knew I could do until I joined the one armed bandit mummy club.

1. Cutting food – Normal procedure is to pin the food down with a fork and cut with a knife. I don’t remember the last time I was able to sit at the table and use both pieces of cutlery. However, did you know that if you press down and cut hard and slowly enough you can cut using only the knife and then swap to the fork to pick up and eat. Amazing!! Failing that, stab the fork in and bite round the edge until it’s small enough to pop in.

2. Changing clothes – Baby crying, top/cardi drenched in sick or poo smeared over it? I never realised but by doing it arm by arm and swapping the baby over I can actually get a dirty top off and a new one on!!

3. Washing – I never thought I could do squats pre-pregnancy let alone after with a baby in my arms. However, I have now discovered that I can be holding the bubba, squat down, load the machine and manage to stand back up (knees burning at this point due toi level of extreme unfitness on my part!!) and pop the load on. Genius!!

4. Use Technology – For a while, I had a baby that would only sleep on me. My escape…? Social Media. Once Alyssa had gone to sleep, my tablet, laptop or phone would come out (having previously been put in the right position before nap time began) and I would do it all one-handed. Not an amazing accomplishment but something to recognise as it took some getting used to, especially if I had to use my left hand instead of my right!

5. Cutting – I do a fair amount of coupon cutting and crafting. Normally you need to hold the item and use scissors in the other hand… or do you? I am hear to tell you, as long as you position the subject correctly or balance against something like you leg, you can infact cut things, with scissors, one handed.

6. Pushing a Trolley/Pram – You hear that scream again and it’s not going to stop, so you have to carry them don’t you? Whilst I admit it is a lot more difficult (especially if you have a lot balancing on the pram) you can in fact steer a trolley or pram with one hand whilst carrying the baby (granted by the end your arm is ready to fall off!!)

7. Food – Doesn’t matter what, but you suddenly develop the ability to whip up many culinary delights one handed, because when you suddenly realise it’s 2pm and you haven’t eaten yet today, everything becomes michelin star cuisine!!

8. Opening Stuff – I say stuff because it could be ANYthing; coffee (decaf at the moment!!) packet, bag of salad (salad biscuits same thing), pack of nappies the dummy sterilising box (never as quickly as you’d like) and many more.

9. Pram Creation – I have also now managed to develop the ability to construct and deconstruct the pram with one hand whilst holding bubba in the other with a changing bag wrapped round my neck slowly strangling me… I call that an achievement!

10. Peeing – This is my ultimate (proudest and worst) achievement! So you visit a shop/supermarket/restaurant alone and you go to baby change and there is no toilet for the mother…where the hell do you put the baby in a normal toilet while you pee?? So in case of emergency, just to let you know, you can in fact remove lower clothing items (see point 2!!) have a quick (aren’t they all?!) wee, put said clothes back on and wash hands all whilst holding the bubba. I have to say I only do this in emergency situations; think about it this way… it’s this or the public bathroom floor!!

Some of these achievements I have to say I am bloody proud of, despite frustration when I am attempting them. Tell me, what feats of acrobatic balancing and engineering allow you to be part of the one-armed bandit club?

That’s all from Alyssa and I for another week. Don’t forget to head over to The Baby & Toddler show and see what amazing exhibitors you can expect to appear this year!

Any exhibitors attending  The Baby & Toddler Show this year who would like their products featured in a weekly blog post, pop me an email to [email protected]

Anyone looking for tickets for this years Baby & Toddler show head over to the website here for all the details